Wikipedia:Peer review/El Hatillo Municipality, Miranda/archive1

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El Hatillo Municipality[edit]

El Hatillo is a municipality in Caracas, Venezuela. I started this article around a month and half ago and I have been hardly working on it. I think all section are at least covered, I just need some feedback on the content. Is there anything missing? How long is it from being a Good article (and a Featured article for that matter)? Any suggestions are very welcomed. --Enano275 21:46, 13 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Overall Impression of current article state: "2a" and "b" of featured criteria needs alot of work:

  • Important issue: Why is a municipality and a town merged into one article? Creates alot of confusion.
Done. El Hatillo is a disambiguation page that links to El Hatillo Municipality, Miranda and to El Hatillo Town, Miranda. Moving all the useless info to the town article is still pending. --Enano275. Right now the town is a stub but the municipality doesn't create confusion with the town anymore.--Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • through out the article it mentions El Hatillo as "relatively close to Caracas,". Is it outside Caracas boundary?.... If so how can it be called a municipality of Caracas then? confusing... All the confusing statements have been cleared now, the municipality is a part of Caracas.--Enano275 19:18, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Things in bracets got to go Unless necessary, all brackets have been removed.--Enano275 19:18, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Too many red links, non-notable wiki-links need to go.
Done. --Enano275
  • Too much bulleted lists/information. Rewrite some into paragraph form. All but the neighborhoods and mayors have been re-written into paragraphs.--Enano275 19:18, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • needs a copy-edit. The prose might not be "compelling, even brilliant", but I consider it has improved significantly since the PR was made.--Enano275 03:03, 22 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • more expansion definetely would help. Most areas have been expanded a lot. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Current text issues:

Lead: The lead has been re-written. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Consider inserting main ethnic group and population into the lead. Ethnic groups are missing from the article also. Information on ethnics is too vague, but I inserted what I could under history and demographics. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • State and make it more obvious this is a tourist destination and maybe name the most famous attraction. Tried to do so in the 3rd paragraph. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Second paragraph is a mess (no offense intended).
    • Revise first sentence so it does not start with "Since". Incorporate more historical information.
    • "El Hatillo is a place of interest for visitors." Why? because of its "Venezuela's best preserved typical colonial towns"?... if so collaborate. Why is it so well preserved, whats there?
    • If the municipality is a tourist attraction, incorporate some figures/information of how tourist effects the area. Also incorporate this into article. For the last three, it's been re-written and all your concerns have been cleared. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]


History:

  • "El Hatillo was inhabited by native Venezuelan tribes Mariches and Caribs." When? At least all it's talked about happened in the 16th century. I cleared that pre-Hispanic information about the tribes is not available. --Enano275 19:24, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Cacique Tamanaco, the leader of these tribes, divided the area in two sections, north and south. Each one was ruled by Cacique Aricabacuto and Cacique Tapairacay respectively." Umm... I dont get it. Three tribe leaders ruled this land for thousands of years? If not when did this tribe leaders rule, and why are they notable to mention? Same as before, 16th century, when the colonization began. I removed the north and south division sentence because it's really unneeded. --Enano275 19:24, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • history mentions colonization. Who (country) colonized? when? Spanish, cleared. --Enano275 19:24, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Overall: History sections drops too many names which loses me. Tried to leave only the most important names. --Enano275 19:45, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Talk more about what the town was used for. Also there are a bunch of historical events with no explanation for why they happened. Example: "Miranda's Legislative Assembly separated El Hatillo from Sucre, declaring it an independent municipality."

Geography:

  • I truly dont see the point for subsections especially "Hydrography". Removed --Enano275 17:07, 8 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Insert climate and weather. The best I could find was a min and max temperature. --Enano275 20:54, 12 July 2006 (UTC). I found more information. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any volcanic history? No, but I cleared the situation. --Enano275 17:07, 8 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Demographics:

  • "El Hatillo Town" sub-section absolutely doesnt belong. It doesnt mention demographics one bit. Deleted --Enano275 17:07, 8 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • A map showing neighborhood borders would be great.
I honestly don't think that I will ever find something similar, I have never seen a municipality map of Venezuela with the neighborhoods, and El Hatillo only has one parish, so that's not an option either. --Enano275 20:54, 12 July 2006 (UTC). I placed a satellite image under geography so at least the readers have a general overview of where the municipality is located in Caracas. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Economy:

  • sub-sections got to go. Removed --Enano275 17:07, 8 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Culture:

  • barely contains encyclopedic information rather a vivid description. It's been expanded a lot. --Enano275 06:26, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Places of interest:

  • It be great if it can be converted into paragraph form instead of bullets. Done. --Enano275 19:36, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. - Tutmosis 02:08, 14 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! I will be working on all that. Do you suggest any way to reduce confusion between the town and the municipality? The thing is that if I make a new article, they would share many facts, for example the history. --Enano275 15:28, 14 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Splitting is the obvious choice personally. I dont see how they can share too many things. History in a way can be similar, but not so much since you shouldn't talk too specifically about the town, but the area as a whole. Thanks, I hope you find my suggestions helpful. - Tutmosis 22:20, 14 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
OK, I will split it as you're recommending. And yes, your suggestions have been very helpful :-). I will start adding individual replies to each of you comments as I work on them. Thank you very much. --Enano275 22:29, 18 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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