Wikipedia:Peer review/Dwight Schrute/archive1

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Dwight Schrute[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am trying to get to FA, but need to make it perfect first.

Thanks, RedThunder 21:21, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

  • While it is clear that a lot of work has been put into this article, it needs some more work to get up to FA standards. A model article is often useful for ideas and examples to follow. I note that Palpatine, Troy McClure and Jabba the Hutt are all FAs about fictional characters. There may be more good model FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Media
  • The lead needs to be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself (such as his World Anime Expo T-shirt). My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but the Bobblehead Doll is not mentioned in the lead. Please see WP:LEAD
  • Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Article needs a few more references, for example Dwight craves authority over others and relishes any minor task that Michael or anyone else gives him. Though Dwight acts like a know-it-all, he is actually quite gullible and naïve. For this reason, he is easily tricked and tormented by his desk-mate and fellow salesman Jim Halpert. Dwight speaks in a halting, dramatic manner, even in casual conversations. is uncited. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
  • Biggest problem I see is that the article is mostly presented from an in universe perspective and needs to be presented from an out of universe perspective - see WP:IN-U. Look at the model articles and see how they deal with the character - how do the creators of the show talk about Schrute? What has the critical reception been to him as a character? Besides the VP joke, what other popular culture references are there to him? See WP:WEIGHT Similarly the sources are nearly all from the Office - article needs more independent third-party sources.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:07, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 11:52, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
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