Wikipedia:Peer review/Don't Ask, Don't Tell (Roseanne)/archive1

Don't Ask, Don't Tell (Roseanne)

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think it's close to if not at GA status and would like it reviewed with an eye to a GA listing.

Thanks, Otto4711 (talk) 16:57, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Hornoir

1. Change the infobox image description from "Sharon plants a kiss on Roseanne." to something more professional sounding. Try: "Sharon (Mariel Hemingway) kisses a surprised Roseanne Conner (Roseanne Barr)."
2. Your lead needs tightening. The same information could be divulged as:
   "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", the 18th episode in the sixth season of the American situation comedy series Roseanne, premiered on ABC on March 1, 1994. The episode was written by James Berg and Stan Zimmerman, and directed by Philip Charles MacKenzie. It portrays the titular character's visit to a gay bar."
3. Avoid biased or ambiguous words like "enormous" (first sentence of the second paragraph of the lead).
4. The second sentence of the lead derails from the subject and goes into general lesbian-kiss episode information which has no bearing on this article.
5. The plot section needs expansion, it is far too uninformative.
6. Split up the Reception and controversy section into Production, Broadcast, and Reception sections. These section will require some information that does not simply concern the kiss. Also, roughly half the information currently in this section has no bearing on this episode; it concerns other shows that have had homosexual aspects and has no real reason for being presented herein.

Overall, too much time is spent detailing the controversial kiss as opposed to informing the reader about the episode. While I concur that the kiss is an important aspect to detail, it should not the focal point of the article (which should be the episode itself). hornoir (talk) 14:20, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Yobmod

• I don't think the notes & references system is needed. " of the refs are only used once, and the other only twice. Simply listing the whole ref after the citation is more compact and efficient.
• Somewhat agree with above comments that the controversy seems large in proportion to the rest. Contorvery may eb the reason it is notable, but once notability is established, complete coverage is iseal. However, the only things i can think to write about are production, and broadcasting (some is already there, is there enough to expand this to a section?: about who showed it or didn't show it, timeslots, repeats, any cuts made for earlier repeats? eg. Rosanne was shown in evenings and afternoon in the UK, no idea if the content differed though etc). Maybe a small increase in the plot - what was going on in the episode overall, and with the pother characters in the familly? YobMod 13:03, 12 March 2009 (UTC)