Wikipedia:Peer review/Chinatown, Oakland, California/archive1

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Chinatown, Oakland, California[edit]

When I first found the article it was full of directory information: addresses, telephone numbers, links laying around EVERYWHERE. I'd just like general info about what needs to be done with the article, and help if you're willing to give it. --Daniel Olsen 04:03, 16 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

There is already a good article inside. It still needs some pruning, though you have made very substantial progress. I would recomend the following reordering: Intro, Geography, People and Culture, Infrastructure (tighten), History (tighten), Government, References.

Serious question: if the article is Chinatown, should it be highlighting Asians and Asian-Americans anywhere in Oakland? If not, the history could be considerably reduced, the subsection Other Asian-American Oaklanders (quite long) could go in its entirety.

40 websites seems a lot. (this is the first time I have responded to a request for peer review. if i am way off base, let me know) Jd2718 02:51, 17 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I agree that this article is about Asian-Americans in Oakland, rather than Chinatown. For example, there is discussion of Japanese in West Oakland, which really has nothing to do with Chinatown. I also agree that the list is notable Asian-Americans is far too long. (If they are so notable, why do so few warrant Wikipedia articles?) I would be tempted to cut it entirely. If their contributions are truly important, then they should be mentioned within the article. Lagringa 07:23, 17 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • And I think you need to rework the section of web references too. They don't appear to be in the proper format that FA standard demands off.

There may be some copyright concerns. Compare to this site. Lagringa 07:25, 17 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • The Lead should summarize properly the article. The list of languages and communities is not mentioned in the article, and a history background is not included in the lead. CG 21:30, 17 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Auto peer review[edit]

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

  • The lead of this article may be too long, or may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article.
  • There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Biography, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City. (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)
  • Per WP:MOSNUM, there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 18mm, use 18 mm, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 18 mm.[1]
  • Per WP:CONTEXT and WP:BTW, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006, but do not link January 2006.
  • As per WP:MOS, please do not link words in headings.
  • Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at WP:GTL.
  • Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
    • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
  • As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space inbetween. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2]
  • Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that the it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a. [2]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, BrianSmithson 12:55, 18 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • P.S. The footnotes can be found here for now. Ruhrfisch 14:58, 13 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The article is very listy, notables aren't referenced, and the sections don't conform to WP:LAYOUT. Sandy 21:49, 1 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  1. ^ See footnote
  2. ^ See footnote
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