Wikipedia:Peer review/Charles Carroll the Settler/archive1

Charles Carroll the Settler

This peer review discussion has been closed.
(Very) new article, so all review comments useful. Esp need focus on prose, compliance with MoS in terms of punctuation and formatting, and referencing.

Many many thanks, Geraldk (talk) 03:14, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article and a good start, here are some suggestions for improvement.

• Please see WP:LEAD and expand the lead so that it is at least two paragraphs. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself, but the information on his son and grandson (only Catholic signer of the Declaration of Independence) is only in the lead - perhaps put this information in some sort of Legacy section? My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way but Early life and emigration does not seem to be in the lead.
• In the lead, alternate names are generally in bold type, so "sometimes called Charles Carroll the Settler"
• Be consistent about capitalization - to my eye Protestant and Catholic look right in the lead, but while Catholic is always captialized, protestant usually is not (and seems like it should be)
• I would mention where and when he was born in the Early life section (infobox says Ireland, presumably at least a county is known for his birthplace)
• Spell out contractions, so It is likely... instead of It's likely that Charles Carroll was fostered out to the wealthier Grace
• I would spell out that Lille and Douai are both in France to provide context for the reader (yes, they are wikilinked, but I think more ocntext should be provided)
• I would also add a link to the Glorious Revolution somewhere in the last paragraph of the Early life section
• I added a comma to Like Carroll, nearly the entire governing structure of the colony, with the exception of the lower house of the proprietary assembly, were appointed by Calvert. this might read better as something like Carroll and nearly the entire governing structure of the colony, with the exception of the lower house of the proprietary assembly, were appointed by Calvert.
• It might also make sense to add a few sentences on the history of Maryland and its founding as a colony for Catholics seeking religious freedom for those unfamiliar with the background history
• Per WP:MOSQUOTE punctuation goes after quoatation marks unless an entire sentence is being quoted
• Per the WP:MOS units should be given in both English and metric units, I used {{convert}} for one example, which is useful for doing this
• Drop "eventually" in After 1706, Carroll and his family eventually resided on two properties
• Link chancery and prerogative courts if possible
• I would mention when his children were born and who their mothers were

Overall this seems pretty good to me. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 20:05, 19 May 2009 (UTC)