Wikipedia:Peer review/Barryville–Shohola Bridge/archive1

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Barryville–Shohola Bridge[edit]

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I've listed this article for peer review because I am trying for bridge Featured Article and I wanna have a good review. This got to GA in April and has been upgraded for good standards. Good review necessary :)

Thanks, Mitch/HC32 01:25, 28 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: With an eye toward FAC, here are some suggestions for improvement.

  • A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - there are 13 FAs on Bridges at Category:FA-Class Bridge articles that seem like they would be good models. Some of the LOndon bridges have had multiple structures in one locatio and might be good models.
I disagree on this one, mind that 1) this isn't London, and 2) most of the Delaware River follow the same precedent.Mitch/HC32 11:44, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Believe it or not, I know the difference between the Delaware River and the Thames ;-) . None of the Delaware River Bridges you are using as examples are FA, so not sure why you think they are better models to get this to FA. My point was that the London Bridge articles often deal with multiple structures at the same location over time, as this article does too. My assumption is that you can look at the relevant part of the article that is a model, and ignore the London aspects. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:20, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • The hardest criteria for most articles to meet in FAC is 1a, a professional level of English. This needs polish - there is a sentence fragment in the second paragraph of the lead, for example: In that disaster, the bridge was That year, the bridge collapsed during a windstorm, killing a man and a woman crossing the bridge.
Done (The fragment).Mitch/HC32 11:44, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Or two sentences chosen at random The bridge had an average daily traffic rate about 1,635 people a year who used the bridge between Barryville and Shohola in a 2004 study. The bridge, according to the United States Department of Transportation, it would cost about $5,628,000 (2006 USD).[2] The first sentence might read better as something like The bridge had an average daily traffic rate of 1,635 people in 2004. (is it a daily traffic number or a yearly one? Avoid repeating information already known like the communities at the ends). To be honest,I am not sure what the second sentence means - is it the replacement cost of a new bridge? If so then something like Replacing the fourth bridge, according to the United States Department of Transportation, would cost about $5,628,000 (2006 USD).[2] There are many more problem sentences - try printing this out and reading it out loud.
Done for the above comments. And as for a thing in whole, I find it easier to have everything listed because what sounds right to me sounds off to everyone else.Mitch/HC32 12:07, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, I don't have time to do that here. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:20, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Seven sources seems very sparse for a FA. I googled the name of this article and found this column on the fourth bridge from a weekly newspaper's website. My guess is that there must be other sources out there - histories of Pike and Sullivan Counties for example. I checked my copy of "Indian Paths of Pennsylvania" and the Shohola Path is not in it, unfortunately.
You know that source is very unbeneficial - as it describes more of one person's life with the bridge?Mitch/HC32 12:07, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
My point was I did a Google search on the article name and the top hit was this. It is mostly reminiscence true, but it mentions the condition of the fourth bridge in the 1950s and 1960s, a flood, who used the bridge (tourist trade, locals). It is not an engineering report, but there are useful nuggets if you read it carefully (and as a newspaper it is a reliable source). Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:20, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would have the lead be in three paragraphs per WP:LEAD. I would also list the history of the bridges there in chronological order. It is easier for most readers to follow things from first to last (not reverse) and it is the way the article is written.
Done.Mitch/HC32 21:59, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • I do not think the word "incarnation" is useful when referring to a bridge.
Done.Mitch/HC32 21:59, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is there any way to get a picture of the new 5th bridge from the side? The current photos do not really show the structure supporting the roadway.
All copyrighted stuff, even on Flickr.Mitch/HC32 21:59, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Watch POV language like "unfortunately" in Unfortunately, a common occurrence in the Upper Delaware River Valley were the strong windstorms.
Done.Mitch/HC32 21:59, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Also watch out for use of words like currently - it is better to either add something like "as of 2009" or "since the bridge's in 2007"
  • The {{inflation}} template might be useful for some of the prices.
I can't work, and I've tried. :( - Mitch/HC32 22:04, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I added one that works as a model Ruhrfisch ><>°° 15:52, 22 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 10:52, 10 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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