Wikipedia:Peer review/Bachata Rosa/archive1

Bachata Rosa

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because the article was just copy-edited and I want to submit to GAN. However I have some concerns in which I need an expert opinion.

• Prose. The albums is not widely known compared to other albums that have received a GA and the albums is quite old so there's not alot of information I could find even through books.
• The section "Cultural impact". I didn't know where to put the information on how bachata gained attention in the Dominican Republic after the release of the album, so I made its own section, but I'm not sure if it's long enough to warrant its own section or it should be merged elsewhere.
• The Dutch (Netherlands) certifications not working anywhere, so access to the database is unavailable at the moment.
• I added two samples to represent two different genres but I need to know if the rations for both are okay.

Thanks, Erick (talk) 23:43, 17 January 2012 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: Thanks for your work on this interesting article. I think a bit more detail about the form would help draw in readers who know nothing about it, and I have a few other suggestions, mostly about Manual of Style issues. I think the rationales for the images and sound tracks are probably OK, though I'm puzzled by the double-entries of the "Licensing" section of File:Juan Luis Guerra - Burbujas de amor.ogg and File:Juan Luis Guerra - La bilirrubina.ogg. They look identical to me, and I think you only need one per file.

Lead

• "It brought bachata music to the attention of the mainstream media in the Dominican Republic." - This sentence in the second paragraph is nearly identical to a sentence in the first paragraph and duplicates the link to Bachata (music). I don't think you meant to repeat like this.

• "in the United States by the Recording Industry Association of America" - This should be abbreviated here as well as spelled out and linked so that abbreviation by itself makes sense later on; i.e., Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).

Background

• What did Silvestre mean when she referred to her bachata music as "red"? In what sense? Bees and hives aren't literally red.

• Even though the link to "bachata music" makes it possible for a reader who knows nothing about bachata to find out what it means, I think it would be helpful to provide a brief explanation in the article itself. What makes bachata different from other kinds of music? What are its most striking characteristics? What kinds of voices? What kinds of instruments? You don't want to insert a long explanation, but a brief description would be nice.

Musical style, writing and composition

• "an upbeat merengue song" - Link merengue?
• "switches to salsa music" - Link salsa?
• "a salsa track written in a journalistic style" - What is meant by "a journalistic style"?

Album

• You have linked Netherlands in this section, but the word appears unlinked in the lead, and other countries like Spain are not linked. You should consistently link terms the first time they are used in an article, and there's usually no need to link them twice in a short article like this one. It would be a good idea to link Spain, the Dominican Republic, and so on as well as Netherlands.

References

• The date formatting in this section should be consistent. See citations 13 and 14, for example, where the date formatting differs from one citation to the next.

• Citations to books should include the page number(s) for the pages supporting the claim(s). They should also include the place of publication and the ISBN. You want to make it as easy as possible for readers to find these books in the library or in bookstores; the on-line versions might become inaccessible at some point. See citation 6, for example.

• The publisher's name in citation 5 should not appear in italics.

• The citations to web sites need dates of most recent access. See citation 19, for example.

• Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider commenting on any other article at WP:PR. I don't usually watch the PR archives or make follow-up comments. If my suggestions are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 19:18, 13 February 2012 (UTC)

I believe I have addressed every problem on this peer review so I will go ahead and close it. Thank you for taking your time to review this article. Erick (talk) 04:14, 28 February 2012 (UTC)