Wikipedia:Peer review/Arctic Monkeys/archive2

Arctic Monkeys[edit]

1st Nom

After a failed FAC, this article has had an extensive rewrite, and I'd like a bit more direction. Any spelling/grammar/punctuation/readability issues are extra welcome! La ï ka 21:12, 15 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ _t 23:12, 15 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

It's mostly good. I think there's an overuse of "the band" and "the band's", where "they" or "their" would probably flow better, i.e., "The band resisted...Eventually, the band signed..The band subsequently won...The overnight success of the band...has led to the band". Also, at the end of the Emergence section are 3 stubby 2-sentence paragraphs, which could be improved. Trebor 11:54, 18 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]