Wikipedia:Peer review/Appley Dapply's Nursery Rhymes/archive1

Appley Dapply's Nursery Rhymes

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because ... I'd like to take it to GA and FA. What does it need to make FA? I need to know where it is weak. Forget contemporary reviews - I haven't found any. If there is something you think could be said better with a tweak here and there, let me know or rewrite it yourself. I don't have ownership issues. I'll be looking at this article over and over in the next couple of weeks to catch typos, revise a bit, enter pics, etc. but I need your input. I would very much like to have one of the Potter articles I've been working on for some time make it to FA. Not for a gold star that I can put on my brag page, but to know one article has been honed to the point where it can stand with other FA articles. Thanks, Susanne2009NYC (talk) 00:01, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: , here are some suggestions for improvement.

• Hill Top is linked twice in the Background section - the second link, which is a dab - should be removed per WP:OVERLINK

Done.

• Randolph Caldecott is also linked twice in one section, watch for overlinking - usually one link in the lead and one at first mention in the text are enough (so move the Norman Warne link up to the first mention of him). Captions and refs may also have repeated links.

Done.

• It is not clear to me how the rhymes are derivative work - I do not know of a pre-existing rhyme about Appley Dapply or any of the other characters mentioned here (unlike the Country Mouse / City Mouse book she wrote). See ...but her editor Norman Warne preferred her original (rather than her derivative work) and offered only modest encouragement.
• I would identify who Fruing is at the first mention of him (not the second as is now done)

Done.

• I think of "in tandem with" as related to two things, but this was released not with one other book (total of two) but with two other books (total of three). See Applely Dapply's Nursery Rhymes was released in October 1917 in tandem with a revised edition of Peter Rabbit's Painting Book and the new Tom Kitten's Painting Book.[10]

Done.

• Summary starts with The text of Appley Dapply's Nursery Rhymes was reset in 2002 and entirely new reproductions of the illustrations completed. Is there any reason not to put this at the end of the section so that it is somewhat chronological?

Done.

• The single stanza is accompanied by an illustration Potter believed to be the finest she ever produced.[9] - Why not include this illustration as an image in the article? Both the Composition and Merchandise sections have no images and could use one each. Background also lacks an image - perhaps one of Potter herself?

Done.

• MacDonald has already been identified with her full name so just use "MacDonald" instead in Ruth K. MacDonald believes the illustrations are some of Potter's best, but the book suffers from its small format ...

Done.

• I would mention that it is still in print and the number of languages it has been translated into - see my FAC comments on Miss Moppet.
• I would add the text to WikiSource (only free one not there) and link to an online version that shows all the illustrations too.
• Is the official Peter Rabbit website from Warne a useful External Link?

Done.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 21:41, 5 October 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for the review! It's very helpful! I've taken care of some things, but others may take some looking about. I hope to finish it in the next few days. Susanne2009NYC (talk) 01:15, 7 October 2010 (UTC)