Wikipedia:Peer review/2009 Monte-Carlo Rolex Masters/archive1

2009 Monte-Carlo Rolex Masters

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it has been expanded by 5x to meet the requirements for a Did You Know Entry. I would like feedback on the quality of the prose, accessability etc.

Thanks, 03md 12:35, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments

• Lead
  • The first paragraph needs to say that this was a tournament for male players.
  • The dates of the tournament would be better given in the first sentence, which might read: "The 2009 Monte-Carlo Rolex Masters, a tennis tournament for male players, was played from April 11 through April 19, 2009, on outdoor clay courts.
  • "Tennis" does not need linking
  • "It was the 103rd edition of the event known that year as the Monte-Carlo Rolex Masters..." This may be a bit confusing to people who are not well informed about tournament sponsorship. It may be advisable to have a more explanatory sentence, such as: "It was the 103rd edition of the annual Monte-Carlo Masters tournament, which since [year] has been sponsored by Rolex".
  • "Except Andy Roddick, all of the top ranked tennis players participated." Should read: "Except for Andy Roddick, all the top ranked male tennis players participated."
  • It would be neater, and less jargony, to say "World No. 2" rather than "World #2" which doesn't look good in prose.
  • "Meanwhile" means "while this was happening". Nadal wasn't winning the tournament while Federer was accepting a wild card, so the word should be deleted.
  • You need to clarify that by "a record fifth straight title" you mean a record fifth consecutive victory in this tournament.
  • "5" should be written as "five" per WP:MOS
  • In the same sentence, "masters" should be "Masters"
  • "The 2009 Monte Carlo Masters tournament was the only one of the nine "Masters 1000" events that year that did not have a mandatory player commitment" You can't talk about 2009 in the past tense – we're only in May. Try: "The 2009 Monte Carlo Masters is the only one of the nine "Masters 1000" events scheduled for that year without a mandatory player commitment"
  • "In 2007 the ATP had decided to make participation in the eight newly rebranded "Masters 1000" compulsory" Clarification needed – compulsory for whom?
  • Ref [3] covers the lawsuit, but what is the source for the information in the last part of the final lead sentence?
• History
  • The word "beginning" is redundant
  • (Tournament details): You have "claycourt" as one word here, yet it was two words in the lead. Consistency required.
• Summary – singles
  • You say the top 8 players in the world competed; earlier you said that Roddick didn't. And 8 should be eight.
  • "From the other seeded players..." should be "Of the other..." etc. And Stepanek's number should be given.
  • Not everyone will know what you mean by "qualifier". Perhaps a footnote could explain that a qualifier is someone not automatically qualified for the tournament by their ranking position, who gains entry through success in a qualifying competition.
  • "The seeds began to fall..." Some had fallen in the first round
  • Clarify you mean that Nadal has been the most successful player of the Open era in this tournament"
• Summary – doubles
  • "The top eight doubles pairs..." Should be "The top-ranked eight..."
  • "also" is redundant after "Djokovic"
  • Rather than redlink, you should explain what a "champions tiebreak" is.
• Citations: There is very little citation in the tournament description sections, none at all for the doubles. It needs to be made clear where this information is coming from.
• Reference [1] needs formatting. It's a bare url at present.

I hope you find these comments useful. I can't watch all my peer reviews, so if you need me to look again, please ping my talkpage. Brianboulton (talk) 21:50, 8 May 2009 (UTC)