Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Joel Selwood/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 16:28, 18 November 2007.

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Joel Selwood

I'm nominating this article (self-nomination) for featured article because I feel it fulfills all the FA criteria, and as an article, represents some of Wikipedia's best work, particularly within the sub-field of Australian Rules Football Articles Boomtish 05:53, 11 November 2007 (UTC)

Oppose, I'm afraid that there are some big issues with prose. For example, from the lead section: "A midfielder at 1.82 metres and 82 kilograms, he has often been compared to AFL superstar Chris Judd due to the impact he had during his debut season, where he received widespread recognition as the best and most successful first-year player to enter the league in recent times, having already been awarded the AFL Rising Star Award and achieving AFL Premiership success in just his debut year." This huge sentence needs splitting into at least two, and perhaps three. There are some more 'snake' sentences like this.

Some redundancy of phrase, for example: "Born in Bendigo, Victoria, to Bryce and Maree Selwood, Joel Selwood grew up in the country town of Bendigo"

Please read WP:DASH for correct usage, for example this sentence "Although raised in a sports-gifted family - mother Maree was a top runner..." should use unspaced mdash

It did get a peer review, but this was rather scant and it seems in need of a thorough going-over before submitting here.

I hope this hasn't been discouraging and can be helpful. — BillC ^talk 13:48, 11 November 2007 (UTC)

• • The lead section concerns have been addressed, I believe. Snake sentences have been removed from the article, and splitted into additional sentences. Redundancy of phrase removed. Use of unspaced mdash applied in relevant sections.

Oppose POV in some parts, mostly suffering from recentist hyping in the modern era. Also, the prose is not good and those fair use images fail WP:FUC number 8. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 23:45, 11 November 2007 (UTC)

• • Please be more specific with any concerns regarding prose, POV etc. It's very difficult for me or anyone wishing to address these points to know where to start/where to refer to if no clear indication is given.

Your concern regarding the use of the images is noted. Although, I do slightly disagree. Out of the 3 images used in the article, one is used for the player info box, another used to summarise his debut year to date (I feel, particularly the successful nature of it), and another accompanies his 'honours' sub-section. Thanks.

Oppose, substantial 1(d) and also 3 concerns. Daniel 01:39, 12 November 2007 (UTC)

• • Again, as per above, please be more specific with your concerns, particularly with regards to POV. Thanks.

Oppose Apart from the prose issue, the article is seriously padded out with repeated information. Although he is a promising player, he has only one season of league football behind him, which means there’s not a lot to write about. The infobox is an issue:

• It lists the Ron Evans medal, the rising star nomination and that he won the same award as separate achievements. It’s the same thing…
• He actually won the AFLPA best 1st year player award, it’s listed as a nomination
• Contains not notable stuff like The Advertiser Southern Cross Ten Sports Star of the Year Award Nomination (2007) and The Age Sports Performer of the Week (2007)
• The stuff about captaining Bendigo & his junior achievements in IR etc. would make more sense incorporated into the body of the article to discuss how his junior career developed.

Achievements are stuff like B&F, Brownlows, leading goalkicker, club captain, Vic rep, All-Australian, Hall of Fame. His achievements are premiership player & rising star winner. The article is also cluttered with too many templates at the bottom. There is a big factual mistake repeated many times, ie. that he is the youngest ever VFL-AFL premiership player ever. Many have achieved this at a younger age; it is believed (because of scant records in the early days) that Murray Weideman was the youngest, playing in Collingwood’s 1953 flag. You should've read you own ref for this; it says Selwood was the youngest since Andrew Eccles at Adelaide in 1998. Not really notable.

In short, the article needs to be chopped down by anything up to 50%, and the “fanzine” style of prose rewritten. The statistics section makes no sense; they are two tables saying the same thing, then giving career averages when he has played only one season. The honours section is the infobox rehashed. The personal life section repeats the section from the early days. Phanto282 (talk) 08:39, 18 November 2007 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.