Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Cyclone Orson/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 14:12, 8 September 2009 [1].

Cyclone Orson[edit]

Nominator(s): Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:46, 14 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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I am nominating this for featured article because I feel that it meets FA requirements. I've thoroughly researched the storm and have found no additional information for it. All thoughts and comments are welcome. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:46, 14 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 17:37, 15 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Removed that source and the tug boat information, just found that it's still in service. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 20:16, 15 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dabs; please check the disambiguation links identified in the toolbox. Dabomb87 (talk) 15:28, 22 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed the only 1, that appeared.Jason Rees (talk) 16:15, 22 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments *Link "hPa" in the lead as it may not be familiar to all readers.

*"Despite the extreme intensity of Cyclone Orson..." can be changed to the more succinct: "Despite Orson's extreme intensity..."

*"Due to the severity of the storm..." can be changed to "Due to the storm's severity..."

  • "...the 40 km (25 mi) wide eye..." there should be a hyphen somewhere because "40 km" is modifying "wide"

*"The lowest pressure was, at the..." I think "The lowest pressure" should be "This" because you only give one pressure as being measured.

*Should Dampier, Australia link to Dampier, Western Australia?

*"...people proceeded to cleanup litter, secured outdoor items and made sure their disaster kits were stocked." I think the verb tense is wrong. I think correct would be "...people proceeded to cleanup litter, secure outdoor items and make sure their disaster kits were stocked."

*"Initially, more than 20 fishermen were reported missing during the storm." You use both "initially" and "during"; which one is it?

*"On April 23, a rescue mission with three aircraft recovered roughly 20 fishermen and one was not found." The "and" makes it sound like something additional was found. I would suggest something like "...20 fisherman, while one was still missing."

*I would link swell to Swell (ocean).

*"The waves knocked the drill used to find the oil out of position; it would take several days before the drill was repositioned." I would make that "knocked a drill used to find oil" and change the part after the semi-colon to "it would take several days for the drill to be repositioned". The current version sounds as if the drill was immediately repositioned, while the next sentence says it isn't.

*Change "...at the time of low tide..." to "...during low tide..."

*Why is there a comma between "Dampier" and "reached"?

  • I think my train of thought changed at that point, I think originally I was putting damage but put winds instead, removed the comma. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:03, 28 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

*"...roughly $900,000 in damages." Indicate that this is Australian dollars, and give a conversion to US dollars.

*"...and was eventually removed" You can take out "was".

*"Due to the severity of the storm..." can be changed to "Due to the storm's severity..."

*Alphabetize "See also" and "External links"

*Should reference 12 be "Search and Rescue Finds 20 Fishermen"?

*Reference 14 uses "pg" instead of "p" for page; change to "p" for consistency with the rest of the article.

After these issues are fixed, I'll have no problem supporting. Mm40 (talk) 18:51, 27 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've addressed all your comments. Thanks for the review Mm40 :) Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:03, 28 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Supporting; very good article. Mm40 (talk) 18:16, 29 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the support! Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:25, 29 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support - The writing seems up to scratch though i would add the words tropical cyclone to the Australian intensity scale. Images and sources also seem fine. Jason Rees (talk) 19:07, 29 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Added tropical cyclone and thanks for the support Cyclonebiskit (talk) 19:23, 29 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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