Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Apollo 14/archive1
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was promoted by Laser brain via FACBot (talk) 7 October 2020 [1].
Apollo 14[edit]
This article is about... an Apollo mission perhaps most famous for featuring the second flight of Alan Shepard, and for Shepard sending two golf balls into flight. Yet much else went on, from a frustrated Stu Roosa trying again and again to dock two spacecraft to Ed Mitchell's ESP experiments. Enjoy.Wehwalt (talk) 17:09, 16 August 2020 (UTC)
Comments Support from hawkeye7[edit]
Article looks in good shape. For the details about the software patch, I recommend Sunburst and Luminary by Don Eyles.
- You talk about the CAPCOM and the flight directors, but the article would be improved if you said just a few choice words about what they do
- You introduce the abbreviation CSM before you define it
- Should Command Module and Lunar Module be linked?
- Any idea who named the spacecraft or why?
- Does particle energy really need a link?
- The S-IVB was impacted into the Moon to calibrate the Apollo 12 seismometers, right?
- "Passive Seismic Experiment (FSE)" should be PSE
- Typos: "propellent" should be "propellant"
Support from Gog the Mild[edit]
Nb. It is my intention to claim points for this review in the WikiCup.
- I'm not sure about "EVA" being abbreviated at first mention.
- "Fra Mauro highlands". Should that be an upper case H?
- Arguably, so I've been consistent and switched in all cases to Fra Mauro formation, which doesn't.
- "He served as a CAPCOM". Could you check that link; and consider giving the job title in full and/or moving the later in line explanation to here.
- "while flying his T-38 jet at a speed and altitude to simulate the speed at which the lunar surface would pass below the CSM". Suggest →'
- "while flying his T-38 jet at a speed and altitude simulating the speed at which the lunar surface would pass below the CSM'.
- "crew movements were limited as much as possible at KSC and nearby areas". Do you mean 'to KSC ...'
- I think what I have is more true to the original. The crew was asked to stay in the training areas and the flight line at Patrick AFB. It wasn't a restriction to the Center in so many words. There are instances in which the crew of later missions disregarded this, but this was the plan anyway.
- "The internal stirring fans, with their unsealed motors, were removed, which meant the oxygen quantity gauge was no longer accurate. This required adding a third tank so that no tank would go below half full. The third tank was placed in Bay 1 of the SM, on the side opposite the other two, and was given a valve that could isolate it in an emergency, and allow it to feed the CM's environmental system only. The quantity probe in each tank was upgraded from aluminum to stainless steel." I am struggling with this. Eg: Why did removing the fans and motors effect the quantity gauge. Why are there two intervening sentences before the gauge is mentioned again? What was the effect of the gauge upgrade? How did adding a third tank prevent any tank from going below half full? How does this relate to the new inaccuracy of the gauge?
- This was borrowed from the Apollo 13 article. I've cut some of it that may be too much information for the reader and focused on the essentials.
- "ALSEP". In full at first mention.
- OK.
- "A similar experiment was successfully deployed, and the mortars launched, on Apollo 16." → 'by Apollo 14'.
- No, it was 16. The one on 14 was never launched because they feared that dust would cover the LRRR laser reflector. Apollo 16 didn't deploy one of those, and they had learned from experience.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:00, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
- Apologies, thumb-fingers. What I meant to type was → 'by Apollo 16'?
- The mortars were launched by ground control after the astronauts were home so it would be hard to say it was launched "by" A16. I'll rephrase.
- Apologies, thumb-fingers. What I meant to type was → 'by Apollo 16'?
- No, it was 16. The one on 14 was never launched because they feared that dust would cover the LRRR laser reflector. Apollo 16 didn't deploy one of those, and they had learned from experience.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:00, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
- "as of 2020 the return signal is only about 10 percent of what was expected"> I find this a little unclear. Do you mean 'as of 2020 the return signal has fallen about 10 percent of its original strength'?
- I'm basically quoting the source here.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:00, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
- Erm, are you saying that you don't understand the source either?
- I'm basically quoting the source here.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:00, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
- "The mission would take a faster trajectory to the Moon and make up the time in flight; just over two days after launch, the mission timers would be put ahead by 40 minutes and 3 seconds so that later events would take place at the times scheduled in the flight plan." Strongly suggest sentence break after "flight".
- "though they might have to initiate an abort manually". Maybe something like 'though if an abort became necessary, they would have initiate it manually'?
- The first sentence of "Lunar surface operations" seems incongruously out of chronological order.
- "older than the volcanism observed". I don't think that volcanism was observed! You need to tweak this.
- "but very rare to find on the Moon". →'but are very rarely found on the Moon'.
- "Mobile Quarantine Facility". Why the upper case initial letters?
- NASA equipment tends to take capital letters, i.e. Lunar Roving Vehicle.
- "The oval insignia depicts the Earth and the Moon, and an astronaut pin drawn with a comet trail. → 'The mission insignia are an oval depicting the Earth and the Moon, and an astronaut pin drawn with a comet trail.'?
A cracking read. Really good work. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:41, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
- I am supporting, but there are a couple of issues above which it would, IMO, be worth your looking at. I don't know how long it takes you, but your prose is great. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:34, 7 September 2020 (UTC)
Comments by Dudley[edit]
- "It was the last of the "H missions," targeted landings with two-day stays on the Moon" What does "targeted" mean here? Weren't all moon landings targeted?
- "Liftoff was delayed forty minutes and two seconds, due to launch site weather restrictions, the first such delay for an Apollo mission." I do not think this is important enough for the lead.
- "following the abort of Apollo 13". I would take abort to mean cancellation. I think failure would be a better word.
- "served as a fighter pilot in the waning days of the Korean War" Are you sure? I think it was after the war ended.
- The source says "He then completed his flight training at Hutchinson, Kansas in July 1954, and was shipped out to Okinawa in the waning days of the Korean War, where he flew the Douglas A-3 Skywarrior from aircraft carriers with Patrol Squadron 29, even being shot at on one occasion." Since the date seems a little late, after the armistice, I will rephrase.--Wehwalt (talk) 16:05, 11 September 2020 (UTC)
- [[Bruce McCandless II|Bruce McCandless, II]]. Why the comma? It looks like a separate person called II.
- "The mission would take a faster trajectory to the Moon and make up the time in flight." Faster than what?
- More to follow. Dudley Miles (talk) 14:56, 11 September 2020 (UTC)
- "9 kg of which are in one rock (sample 14321)" and "In January 2019 research showed that Big Bertha, a 19.837 pound rock" You state in the picture caption that they are the same rock, but not in the text which uses different units in each case. The first phrase is in a quote so you cannot give a conversion, but the second one is the only case I can see where you do not give a conversion to kg.
- I would link "plane change".
- A first rate article. Dudley Miles (talk) 15:41, 12 September 2020 (UTC)
Image review—pass[edit]
Images are freely licensed (t · c) buidhe 16:40, 19 September 2020 (UTC)
Source review - Pass[edit]
Experienced FA user so spot checks have not been done.
Biblio
- For consistency I would repeat the location for Apollo 14 Press kit ref
- Why is NASA spelled out for ref Summary report but not for the first two? Would pick one way and standardize
- I see that Summary report has a "(Report)" – would this be appropriate for the Mission Report as well?
- I'm a little confused about the formatting for Brzostowski, its different than all the others (looks like its not in a template). The media type is unclear as well – is there an identifier that could be used here... ISBN, OCLC, doi, ISSN, url?
- location for Arizona university? I assumed at first it wasn't there since the location is obvious but since you include a location for Chicago Review press, one here would make sense
Refs
- Ref 24 shouldn't be in all caps even if in original publication, says that somewhere in the MOS...
- The two astronomy.com refs are formatted differently (refs 79 & 98)
- Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. --Laser brain (talk) 01:54, 7 October 2020 (UTC)
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.