Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/1991 Sacramento hostage crisis/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 01:32, 14 October 2007.

1991 Sacramento hostage crisis[edit]

A very detailed article of an historic event in U.S. history, nicely divided into relevant sections with the help of other users. It was written over a long period, and meets the style guidelines. Self-nomination. Coolgamer 20:19, 9 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose: There are no references. —Salmar (talk) 20:57, 9 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
A large number of the references have went off-line. Most of the information that is not from web pages is from local news, books, videos, etc. and will be included as soon as possible. Coolgamer 21:10, 9 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose: because of the lack of references. As a suggestion, for the references that have gone off-line, you may want to check out archive.org. See if there's any archived versions floating around. Drewcifer 00:05, 10 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object primarily due to lack of references and citations. This article does not meet style guidelines as you claim. In particular, Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings) is not followed, I see a book title that is not italicized, terms like "flash-bang" are introduced with no explanation or link (at least say "flash-bang grenade") and the lead needs to be expanded. A few things in the article are either poorly worded or unclear: in the "Entry" section, the first paragraph refers to a "twenty year old male hostage" (should be "twenty-year-old") that is shot in the leg, and the next paragraph refers back to this "elderly hostage". This is elderly now? Non-free images lack article-specific rationale. Pagrashtak 14:02, 10 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Mistakes noted, looks like that elderly one was put in by another user and I missed it. Reformatting and clarifying. Coolgamer 20:26, 11 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Found and restored old sources, fixed most formatting complaints. Started work on attaching footnotes. Coolgamer 21:15, 11 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose lack of references, poor writing style (VERY informal), etc. This article needs to just be taken off this list at this time. While the subject is certainly more offbeat (and interesting) than other dry topics, it needs work. I recommend getting a peer review from someone and then going through GAC. Furthermore, the following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
  • Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
  • Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.[?]
  • There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Person, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City.[?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), avoid capitalizing words in section headings unless they are proper nouns or the first word of the heading.[?]
  • There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.
    • apparently
    • might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please strike this comment).[?]
  • Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
    • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
  • As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2][?]
  • Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas.
— BQZip01 — talk 22:26, 12 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
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