User talk:Melissausburn/sandbox/New Sandbox

2nd review by Erica Allen

I searched for your article and I can't find it on wikipedia, so I am not sure if it has gone live under a different article title, but this one doesn't seem to have any changes. Regardless, here are some more advice from the prior tips I gave:

1. How much larger in comparison to Earth are the lava tubes?
2. Where do they form-- is it a specific condition?
3. Missing some citations in the second paragraph and some floating punctuation; those are simple to fix.
4. I don't understand the picture with the cloud-like structures-can you edit that?

I still think the topic is really cool and not sure if you have a revised article out there--if so let me know so I can review that as well. Take care Erica Eblamble (talk) 05:40, 7 April 2014 (UTC)

awesome draft and i like the life of mars section too.

1. change the title of your sandbox to the title of the page "martian lava tube"
2. provide citation for the images.
3. expand the martian lava tube section more.

Comments from Kexin on your wikipage I think you have the fantastic figures and I like your topic! The suggestions are

1. You should add a tile like " Martain lava tube". 2. I am really interested in the lava tube. So when I read the first part I want to know more about the lava tube. If you can add more characters of the tube may make it better. 3. In "See also" part, I think you can add more links about Mars which helps people find resources.

Hope this can help, good luck and good job! Kzhan15 (talk)

Hey Melissa! First off I want to say that your wiki page is very informative and highly interesting; you have done a great job with flow of the material and your pictures are amazing. I am very impressed! A few things I would work on is first provide more links back to uncommon words in the section titled "Life on Mars". I see that you have a lot of links on other paragraphs, and so I think this one paragraph could use a few more. The next thing I would do is cite your pictures, not the ones that are your own work, but the ones that you get from wiki commons or from a government cite. I know you have plans to add 2 more paragraphs on the section for geologic and biologic history, which will make your page even better, I would maybe look at adding more to the last paragraph on habitation on lava tubes. I find that fascinating, and see if there is any images of what a habitat on Mars could look like would be really neat. One of my "grown-up" projects is to build a house into the earth and have it regulated by the earth, and I think there is interest in this period so take my advice for what you will, I think it is a super cool topic and you have done a wonderful job so far! Watch out for simple little grammatical errors like punctuation capitalization, but bravo Melissa :) Eblamble (talk) 13:56, 6 March 2014 (UTC)Erica Allen — Preceding unsigned comment added by Eblamble (talk • contribs)

Review from Graeme Bartlett

Your writing should be easy to understand by high school students, so that is good. Some questions I have, are how big and long are the tubes? Some of those collapse pits seem to be huge. What is the temperature likely to be inside? How about a list of them, or a map showing where they are. For your references please add DOI's so that they can be tracked down more easily. See if you can link the see also articles in your prose. Graeme Bartlett (talk) 11:12, 11 March 2014 (UTC)