User talk:Flat Out/Archives/2015/October

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Please comment on Talk:Kim Davis (county clerk)

The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:Kim Davis (county clerk). Legobot (talk) 00:00, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Wikipedia talk:Categorization of people

The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Wikipedia talk:Categorization of people. Legobot (talk) 00:01, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Non-spam email

I'm afraid I have only just discovered that way back on 8 September an email arrived from you, and went into my spam folder. I don't know why that was: it doesn't look like spam to me. Right now I don't have time to check it, and if it's too late to do anything about it, I can only say I'm sorry. I'll look at it as soon as I can. The editor who uses the pseudonym "JamesBWatson" (talk) 14:09, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

I have now had time to check it, and I see it's a matter which has been dealt with long ago. Well, sorry I wasn't able to help when you asked for help. The editor who uses the pseudonym "JamesBWatson" (talk) 09:18, 3 October 2015 (UTC)
JamesBWatson thanks JBW, I saw you were busy and got help from another admin. Flat Out (talk) 04:28, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

17:57:04, 30 September 2015 review of submission by Ldietrich1


Hi, I am requesting a re-review because I feel the article does show the notability of the subject. I was hoping you could reference a live article on wikipedia "Michael Kitces" who is of a similar background/notability as my subject. That article was approved as notable. Thank you very much for your help.

Ldietrich1 I have left a comment on your draft. Also, Michael Kitces never went through AFC it was crested in mainspace and is tagged as possibly non-notable. Flat Out (talk) 04:32, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

Jeff Nicholson page

Hello-

Thank you for the feedback on the Jeff Nicholson page. I am looking into making the suggested changes to the page. While I do that, I wanted to show you the old version of the page- it has been significantly revised already, I'm not sure if you were able to check it out. Here's a link: http://deletionpedia.org/en/Jeff_Nicholson Thank you for your time, Vance VanceJordan (talk) 01:04, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks VanceJordan , let me know when you have made the necessary changes. Flat Out (talk) 04:34, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

This week's article for improvement (week 41, 2015)

Hello, Flat Out.

The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection:

Musical composition

Please be bold and help to improve this article!

Previous selections: Personal finance • Scottish mythology

Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations

Posted by: EuroCarGT (talk) 00:07, 5 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery (talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • Opt-out instructions

Draft: Rentalcars.com

Hi FlatOut, thanks for taking time to review Rentalcars.com draft. I think i have removed all lines of text that could be seen as a sales message. I will resubmit the amended draft version and look forward to feedback. If you can highlight which phrases sound most sales like it would be much appreciated. Thanks. — Preceding unsigned comment added by NutsAboutTravel (talk • contribs) 08:19, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:David Cameron

The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:David Cameron. Legobot (talk) 00:01, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

01:33:18, 9 October 2015 review of submission by GeekPhotog


Hi -- Thanks for reviewing my draft article on the new DxO ONE. Can you give me any specifics on what you found objectionable in the article? I've worked to pattern it closely after the pages on many other current cameras. All data is from major published sources (WSJ, etc.) and both positive and negative reviews are cited. Thanks for any help & clarity on this, as I'd love to fix the article. GeekPhotog (talk) 01:33, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

Draft:IHuman (in-vitro human platform)

Dear Flat Out, for this page, I've already got OTRS license for a material that may cause copyright problem but is still rejected. Could you please specify which part of the article is not appropriate so that I can make improvements. Thanks, — Preceding unsigned comment added by Smartlife1992 (talk • contribs) 03:49, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

Smartlife1992, the entire article is obviously copy pasted from another source. Flat Out (talk) 03:52, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

The article is produced by my group and some of the content may appear at other sources. Could you please kindly point out the source so I can get a license and make a revision accordingly? Smartlife1992 (talk) 03:58, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

14:31:31, 9 October 2015 review of submission by Karen Douglass


I have added some content and reliable resources. Please, check.Karen Douglass (talk) 14:31, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

Flat Out,

Where would I find the "notes" you refer to in the October 9 decision?

aljmike — Preceding unsigned comment added by Aljmike (talk • contribs) 16:20, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

Help with page 'draft:multibagger stocks'

Hello I understand that I have made quite a few mistakes while creating the page that you have declined. I will edit the page and make it sound more neutral without any peacock terms and use more reliable sources. Could you help me with the bit where it needs to written in a formal tone expected of wikipedia articles. I am unable to understand what changes I need to make to be able to meet that guideline.

Many Thanks Theexpert001 (talk) 09:10, 10 October 2015 (UTC)

This week's article for improvement (week 42, 2015)

Costumed performers from the 2006 Bristol Renaissance Faire
Hello, Flat Out.

The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection:

Costume

Please be bold and help to improve this article!

Previous selections: Musical composition • Personal finance

Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations

Posted by: EuroCarGT (talk) 00:17, 12 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery (talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • Opt-out instructions

ECUSTA TRAIL

I am the author of the text of the Ecusta Trail proposed entry. What are and where would I find the "notes" you refer to in the October 9 decision? Thanks. 17:49, 11 October 2015 (UTC)Aljmike (talk)aljmike

Aljmike, have a look at the existing reviewer comments and address the issues before re-submitting. Flat Out (talk) 03:03, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

21:40:37, 13 October 2015 review of submission by Aconnellan


Hi Flat Out, Last month you denied my submission on a page for 360 Finance on the grounds that it reads a lot like advertising. Thanks so much for the feedback, I've been going back over it since to try and improve it - I was wondering if it's possible if you have any more feedback or advice on how to better write it so it's not labelled as advertising? I welcome any and all feedback, and thanks again! Aconnellan (talk) 21:40, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Aconnellan and thanks for your question. Wikipedia articles should be an accurate summary of the key points written about the subject (company) by reliable sources. When you write an article to promote a subject, or when you know a lot about that subject, there is a risk that your article will read like a promotional piece. Also, you will find yourself writing paragraphs and then looking for sources to support that article. Apart from the tone of your draft, you don't have many sources that are really independent (see WP:42 ). The company website, annual reports, press releases/announcements etc are not enough to support the notability of the company. Flat Out (talk) 23:02, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Volkswagen emissions violations

The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:Volkswagen emissions violations. Legobot (talk) 00:01, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Facebook

It is not appropriate to add a Facebook link for a specific group or organization being referenced, even when they do not have their own website? — Preceding unsigned comment added by TBrenen (talk •

TBrenen yes that is correct. You can't just copy text from a source and paste it as an article. Wikipedia article subjects have to be notable, which in this case means the organisation has received significant coverage in books, newspapers etc. Flat Out (talk) 03:02, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
How is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_German-American_Alliance so different? It does the same thing the German-American Society does. TBrenen
TBrenen that article has a long list of independent sources. Flat Out (talk) 03:48, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
We are working on improving it...TBrenen —Preceding undated comment added 04:57, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
TBrenen, who is "we?" Flat Out (talk) 00:57, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Help me for editing the draft:Asep_Kambali

Dear Flat Out, Thanks so much for reviewing my draft:Asep_Kambali. Yeah, that is my first article :") I just learning wikipedia for develop my writing skill. Please help and advice me to write with better. I dont understand how wikipedia works, so I wish you will be my mentor ini here? Best regards, BallyYamismis — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ballyyamismis (talk • contribs) 03:31, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Ballyyamismis thie issue with your draft is inline citations. I see you have added two now which is a good start, however because your article is a biography of a living person, every statement must have a reliable source. Flat Out (talk) 03:49, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

A barnstar for you!

The Citation Barnstar
Thanks a lot Ballyyamismis (talk) 04:23, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

This week's article for improvement (week 43, 2015)

Ice hockey is an example of a team sport. Pictured is an 1893 ice hockey match at Victoria Rink, Montreal.
Hello, Flat Out.

The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection:

Team sport

Please be bold and help to improve this article!

Previous selections: Costume • Musical composition

Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations

Posted by: EuroCarGT (talk) 00:06, 19 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery (talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • Opt-out instructions

Articles for creation: Cultural Education Centre, AMU Aligarh

Hey, I am trying to be published this Draft: Cultural Education Centre, AMU Aligarh, but it has been declined many times. Plz approve this draft, for it is a notable institution. Or tell me how to improve this article in short. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mohd Sarim Ashrafi (talk • contribs) 05:59, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

WP:AFC

Hi, I was the one who created the page SystemHouse33. This band has been around for more than 11 years, got reviews from top Indian newspapers, Rolling Stone magazine (India) wrote an article on them, and there are numerous online webzines and blogs that have interviewed the band members and written about them. I do not see why this page has been declined due to "not enough reliable resources". I have added over 2 dozen resources through links at the end of the article. I feel the reviewer was biased because this is an "Indian" band, so apparently it doesn't deserve a spot on Wikipedia. There are numerous other pages I have come across that barely have a couple of lines and yet they have been approved by a so-called reviewer. Please carry out some research yourself about SystemHouse33 before you decide to just take it down. I don't think an article I took all day to write and numerous weeks to research for should be rejected by ONE reviewer. How can I be sure that said reviewer is not biased?! Thanks, Komal Komalkimkevin (talk) 03:34, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Komalkimkevin instead of implying that editors as racist, how about you read about inline citations because you have none in your article, have a look at the criteria for notable bands to see which of them your article meets, and lastly spend some time on what reliable sources are. Flat Out (talk) 03:58, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Chris Whitey Sims

what up with all the edits on Chris Whitey Sims page? the imdb link to "bring it on", the Heavy Blues link are all totally valid AFAIK also modified Leaving Trains page to include vocals and guitar to Chris Sims entry — Preceding unsigned comment added by 2602:306:BD1D:4370:2D1E:CDF0:C57E:B9D8 (talk) 06:30, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

anyone can edit imdb and its not a reliable source as far as wikipedia is concerned. Flat Out (talk) 05:46, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

mydiveo page

Hello, I submit the mydiveo page for review and it was declined and I wanted to know what I should do or how I should edit it in order for it to be accepted. I also wanted to know if there was a way to fix the title of "mydiveo" to make all letters lowercase. Thank you. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 71.103.145.168 (talk) 20:25, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

71.103.145.168 you need sources to support the article that aren't connected the mydiveo, and you need to summarise what they say. The way the article reads now is like someone from the company wrote an advertised and then added a couple of references to it. Flat Out (talk) 05:58, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

A cup of tea for you!

With this ever dramatic world and winter coming, here's a cup of tea to alleviate your day! This e-tea's remains have been e-composted SwisterTwister talk 05:50, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Thanks SwisterTwister that really hit the e-spot :) Summer about to hit down here in Melbourne Australia. Hope you're well. Flat Out (talk) 06:00, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

01:11:54, 23 October 2015 review of submission by Pakarmy4923

The article which I created refers to the band which is emerging as a mainstream sensation now a days. Their music videos are now playing on different music channels not only in Pakistan but in India also. They have scored the OST for a well-known drama serial Ru Baru which was being played under the banner of Hum TV which is one of the biggest entertainment channels in Pakistan. they have also featured with Pakistan's top model Mathira. Their souncloud's plays are reaching at their peaks. They are going to be signed with Pakistan's biggest record label EMI. Are these things not notable as stated by you??? Please re-review the whole article and help me out to improve its contents. Thanks

Pakarmy4923 to be notable there have to be things written about the band in newspapers, books, reviews. When that happens you can write an article about them. Flat Out (talk) 09:41, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

A favor on my article

I read your message on the draft. The thing is I am new on wikipedia. I made that article by looking at other articles. So my request to you is that iff you can do anything so as to improve the article then I would be really thankfull. Draft: Umer Jubapu. This is the only guy who is a singer, dancer and a stunt rider all at once from his place. He is famous in Dubai, Saudi Arabic and places in the middle east. People love him and wanna know about him. Thank you.

to be notable there have to be things written about him in newspapers, books, reviews. When that happens you can write an article about him. Flat Out (talk) 09:42, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Please comment on Talk:Gun laws in the United States by state

The feedback request service is asking for participation in this request for comment on Talk:Gun laws in the United States by state. Legobot (talk) 00:04, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

The Mighty Bulldogs DVD Series

Hi, I was wondering why this page was declined? You have just written that it can be improved, but what exactly don't you like about it? Before it lacked references, but that has been updated. Unfortunately there wasn't a tone of media coverage for this series, so it is difficult to find any more articles (It is a real series ect, if that is what you are worried about?). And other pages that have gone through successfully were similar to this, so I don't understand why it hasn't gone through. If you could please let me know, then I can hopefully fix it so it can be successful. — Preceding unsigned comment added by MovieJunkie52 (talk • contribs) 06:37, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

There is virtually nothing written about the DVD in reliable sources. You have added a lot of references but few relate to the subject of the article. Flat Out (talk) 02:30, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Jeff Nicholson page

Hello- Thank you for your recent (and original) feedback, it made things clearer for me. I figured out how to put the web links right in the footnote section rather than duplicated in the external links section. That looks much cleaner, thanks. I think that and your original request for more references is covered (virtually every statement has a reference now). The other editor who declined it said it needed more verifiable news sources and less interviews. I would like to point out that most of the history referred to here is pre-internet, so it only seems logical that my seven news print references outnumbers my few web news references. With 20 references for five paragraphs, I think this is really solid article when I compare it to other similar wiki articles. Do you agree and can you release it now? Thank you for your time. VanceJordan (talk) 23:43, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

VanceJordan im going to leave this to another reviewer. Good luck Flat Out (talk) 02:38, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Request on 17:22:06, 21 October 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by PinkBlueGreenPowder


Hi Flat Out, I'm not sure I understand the issue. LaMona requested more independent sources to establish notability. Those were added and now it's flagged for reading like an advertisement. Can you please be more specific about what you consider not being from a neutral point of view? PinkBlueGreenPowder (talk) 17:22, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

PinkBlueGreenPowder - thanks for the question. My issue is the tone of the article. It reads like a press release with sources added after the fact. rather than a summary of key points raised by reliable sources. If you are unhappy with my review please feel free to request another opinin from LaMona who I'm sure would be happy to assist. Flat Out (talk) 05:56, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Flat Out - thanks for the feedback. It's much appreciated. I took another try at modifying the tone and saved the draft. Would you mind looking at it to see if it's more in line with what you'd want? Also had a question - does the Recognition and Awards section help or hurt? It was meant to help establish notability. Thanks! PinkBlueGreenPowder (talk) 23:00, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Request on 09:27:54, 24 October 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by Fannydin


Hi you recently declined to accept my article for Gridding saying there eneded to be independent evidence of it. I had included in my revised submissin a link to the Sunday Independant Newspaper including refernece to The group and what they do, including an interview with one of the founders. I also included a link to another newspaper that reported on the annual meeting of memebers of the group, including and interview and photographs. I am not entirely sure what else you require, could you offer soem guidance please. The group currently has 253 members from across the globe. Danny Fannydin (talk) 09:27, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

I'm sorry Fannydin but I don't see a depth of coverage that would pass the criteria at WP:GNG. Flat Out (talk) 02:34, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
Hi Flat Out, I appreciate your comments but I am still a little stuck to know how to move forward. The criteria you refer to is. If a topic has received significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject, it is presumed to be suitable for a stand-alone article or list. Significant requires the topic to be addressed directly and in detail. Both newspaper articles do this. I dont think there can be any suggestion that either Newspaper is not be classed as reliable. Both are long established, one being a regional newspaper and the other one of the UK's leading national newspapers. Absolutely the reports are independent and are based upon Journalists follwoing a "story" rather than the result of reprinting some press release. What more woudl you liek to see?
Fannydin could you please sign your talk page posts using the four tildes ~~~~. Now to your draft, you have written a little piece in your own words rather than summarising the key points that have been covered in reliable sources. Every statement you make int he article needs to be support with a reliable source, not just a coupe added at the end. See Caving as an example. Secondly, the topic has not received a depth of coverage that would pass WP:GNG. The free newspaper is not a reliable source so you only have one. Please see WP:42. Flat Out (talk) 00:15, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

'Page Jump' decline base on notability

Hi Flat Out, I discovered you declined the post on 'Page Jump' because you feel it is not notable to be included in an encyclopedia such as Wikipedia. Well, I don't know how notable you would have wanted such a universal way of enhancing user experience on long content. I later had a chat with a member who advise I should move the books I referenced above a sign command so that it will be visible. I don't know how to do this. I was on a research work when I discovered 'Page Jump' (on web page) was not listed on Wikipedia so I decided to help in my little way. Please, I would like you to help in this if you can and then add necessary referencing that would make it verifiable. Thanks. Francistoke — Preceding unsigned comment added by Francistoke (talk • contribs) 13:35, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Francistoke. There are a number of articles on html, html versions, elements and entities. I woudl suggest you have a look at these to see if the topic is covered or whether you could improve an existing article. I suspect it is covered under the html element "Anchor" Flat Out (talk) 00:24, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Your comment on Draft:2015–16 Coupe de France Preliminary Rounds ‎

Hi Flat Out. Thanks for your comment regarding the article being way too long. I'm fairly new to wiki editing, but would the use of collapsible tables be a preferred alteration, at least for the larger tables, to reduce the length of the article? Open to any other ideas also. Cheers. Gricehead (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 09:40, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Gricehead Results articles are not my strong suit, it might be worth finding a comparable topic and see how they have laid it out. Flat Out (talk) 22:16, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

16:22:09, 28 October 2015 review of submission by Michael Sullivant


Thanks for the feedback on the first draft of the article. This is my first submission to Wikipedia, but I do not think it will be my last. I have made some changes to the article be more "neutral" in my description of the subject and have added additional quotes from credible sources. Michael Sullivant (talk) 16:22, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Michael Sullivant and thanks for your post. I have edited your page to help with the citations and have edited to create a lead. I think that the band probably meets WP:NBAND so you just need to get the format and wording right. language should be neutral (see WPNPOV ). This means you can't write things like "THE FAME RIOT is unlike anything else out there." that's what we call POV. Secondly, you can't have links to external websites in the body of the article. The biggest issue with the current draft is the tone. Have a look at the article on AC/DC. Every statement is a summary of what a reliable source(s) has to say about the band. If there are good sources for something then say it and add the inline citation, rather than referring to the newspaper or the journal etc and using lost of quotes. There are exceptions of course but generally just make the statement and supply the source. The other problem you have is that the tone is overtly promotional. This is because you have written about a topic you are passionate about, then added sources. The result is paragraphs with lots of POV language, quotes from the band themselves (see WP:PRIMARY ) and one or two references. You have made an excellent start and I encourage you to keep going. Flat Out (talk) 00:36, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
It seemed like there were two different places to ask for the second review of my article. Please direct me. Here is what I posted on the other page to which I was directed. Thanks for the feedback on the first draft of the article. This is my first submission to Wikipedia, but I do not think it will be my last. I have made some changes to the article be more "neutral" in my description of the subject and have added additional quotes from credible sources. Michael Sullivant (talk) 16:22, 28 October 2015 (UTC) Michael Sullivant (talk) 16:26, 28 October 2015 (UTC)
Dear Flat Out...thanks for the coaching on the article. I will rework it...this is a good education for me! Michael Sullivant (talk) 00:47, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
Michael Sullivant you are more than welcome. Flat Out (talk) 01:10, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
Hello Flat Out..do appreciate your help. I have attempted to make the changes you have pointed out. Are the brief quotes from the industry experts in the second to the last paragraph allowable? If not, is there a way to convey their POV that is allowable? Michael Michael Sullivant (talk) 19:03, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
Michael Sullivant there's lots of work to do on this draft. I have removed a sentence that isn't notable, but then I was left with "Since their formation, the Fame Riot have been popular in and around the Seattle music scene due to the combination of their quality of music, their entertaining live show and their "youthful swagger". This is followed with a source that supports "youthful swagger" but doesn't support 1. their popularity 2. the quality of their music/entertaining live show as a reason for their popularity. Everything you say needs to be supported with a source otherwise it will be deleted. If you can go through and remove the descriptions which don't have a source, then I'll have another look. There's no need to submit it for review just let me know here and I I'll work on it with you. Quotes are fine but should be used sparingly. generally its better to summarise a source in your own words and let the reader go to to cited reference and make up their own mind. Flat Out (talk) 22:31, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Reason Behind My Article declination

I have added some referral link which prove my company existence please check that an let me know for farther information — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kutubuddinkhulna (talk • contribs) 05:10, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Please read WP:REFBEGIN. Flat Out (talk) 05:28, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Draft:Way2Wealth Brokers Private Limited

you have declined my a page here's the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Way2Wealth_Brokers_Private_Limited You have mentioned it lacks references, i have provided many references as per my understanding. would appreciate if you can help me in identifying the areas for which you need references.Arundhatisingh (talk) 04:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Arundhatisingh the sources you have used are not reliable sources. See WP:RS. Flat Out (talk) 04:58, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
i read it says the sources should be third party sources, published by media not related to the company. my sources are same. can you please mention which sources you find irrelevant, i am confused.Arundhatisingh (talk) 05:26, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Please read WP:REFBEGIN. Flat Out (talk) 05:27, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
hi, have included more reference links. please check if the article is fine now. this is first experience so will appreciate if you can help identify the areas which needs to be changed.Arundhatisingh (talk) 05:35, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

your references aren't up to the standard required by wikipedia, notices, announcements, press releases etc are not reliable sources. Please also read WP:COI. Flat Out (talk) 05:39, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

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