User talk:Epezzuto/sandbox
Peer Review Notes and Summary -You may be better served by replacing the text that is already present (the stuff you have italicized), or maybe that is your plan already? -You should clearly define nucellar tissue before anything else
"In apomictic ovules, it is possible that nucellar cells (initial cells) from the nucellus tissue may ultimately form nucellar embryos, also known as adventitious embryos" -> What are initial cells?
"These adventitious embryos are able to undergo plant embryogenesis" -> Embryogenesis specifically refers to the formation of an embryo from an egg and sperm in my understanding. Perhaps I am wrong, but you are talking about an asexual process here, so embryogenesis probably might not be the proper terminology?
"The initial cells form, divide, and expand. Once the zygotic embryo becomes dominant, the initial cells stop dividing and expanding. However, when the zygotic embryo continues to develop, the initial cells continue to develop as well, fully forming nucellar embryos. The nucellar embryos generally end up outcompeting the zygotic embryo, rendering the zygotic embryo dormant. The polyembryonic seed is then formed by the many adventitious embryos within the ovule.[3] The nucellar embryos produced via apomixis inherit its mother’s genetics, making them desirable for citrus propagation, research, and breeding.[4]" -> Again, the initial cells thing is a bit of a hang up for me as a reader, not really sure what these are. Second, I understand what you are getting at with the zygotic embryos, but you need to more carefully interweave what is written in the italics section at the beginning in order for the whole zygotic embryo thing to be clear.
"To be seedless, a citrus must exhibit self-incompatibility, another reproductive trait within citrus fruits." -> SI is not just limited to citrus fruits. Reword this sentence.
"which goes hand in hand with nucellar embryony" -> not academic language, consider revising
"This has allowed for seedlessness within citrus breeding" -> Does not make sense grammatically. You need to be more clear about how SI, seedless fruits, and nucellar embryony are connected.
"This has allowed for seedlessness within citrus breeding. Self-incompatibility is regulated by the S-loci; if pollen is rendered incompatible, it is determined by its haploid S genotype, or if its sporophyte is rendered incompatible, it would be determined by its diploid S genotype. There have been other modes developed to reduce seeding in citrus as well: gibberellic acid enhances ovule abortion[9] and copper sulfate has been shown to reduce seed number in fruit[10]. An example is the ‘Afourer’ mandarin that contains a haploid self-incompatibility system and parthenocarpy. Under conditions where cross-pollination is not present, the ‘Afourer’ mandarin produces a seedless fruit. Where cross-pollination is present, gibberellic acid is applied and produces a decreased seeding fruit." -> this whole section could really benefit from reorganization. The paragraph this is part of seems to require the following structure in order to fit with your story so far:
1) Nucellar embryony is a form of fruit production without fertilization 2) but its not the only way 3) SI, parthenocarpy, gibberellins, other chemicals 4) These are relevant because of fruit industry
Peer Review Summary: This is, overall, a really detailed yet relatively easy to follow explanation of what is an undoubtedly complex process. You do a good job of addressing the mechanistics of what is going on with nucellar embryony. In general, I think you need to be more liberal in defining your terminology and showing your reader along the way. I was a bit lost by the cell wall thickening bit for example. I also think you need to more carefully integrate the zygotic embryo bit into the first paragraph. The last paragraph could also benefit from significant reorganization, per my comments.
Content: As far as the rubric is concerned, your article addresses a phenomenon. Since this is the case, you should be bringing up three illustrative examples from various taxonomic groups that engage in nucellar embryony. There is only one, sort of, which is citrus. You should try and find non-citrus examples to compare to, maybe considering why and how nucellar embryony does or does not occur in another lineage. For the figure, I see that the idea is there (it is a draft so maybe you have plans for improvement), but I would work to see if you can find higher resolution images, and use consistent text size, centering, and what not. Also, powerpoint has a robust suite of shape drawing tools that should allow you to make neat arrows as opposed to hand drawn.
Implementation: Criteria: length good, links good, formatting seems fine Sources: looks good Tone: Various places where non-academic language and colloquialisms are used, I've highlighted some of the more obvious instances above. But good overall Mechanics: Again, a few places where sentences seem out of place or awkward. Will be improved by reorganizing I think.