User:Mackay64

Alan: Cultural Learnings of Earth for Make Benefit Glorious Planet of Galgamex
File:Alan - Borat.jpg Alan: CLoEfMBGPoG promotional poster
Also known as	That's So Alan!
Created by	A Sperm cell, an Ova
Starring	Alan Mackay Your Mum as The Girlfriend Mummy Daddy Friends Seoras Mackay as the Evil Stepbrother Wii Nintendo DS Nintendo GameCube (2002 - 2007) Nintendo 64 - (1997 - 2002) DVD Collection - (2004 - )
Opening theme	"White & Nerdy" by Weird Al Yankovic
Country of origin	United Kingdom
Original languages	English Gaidhlig
No. of seasons	5
No. of episodes	1923 (As of September 23, 2008)
Production
Executive producers	Kirsttty "I Like Well Love Tea" Stephens Micheil "Doom" Malone Leanne "I can't fucking touch raw meat!" Munro
Running time	approx. 55 years (Estimated)
Original release
Network	Earth
Release	1991 (1991) – present

The end result of a drunken gropefest and a broken propholactic, Alan was concieved around about 9 months before his birth.
Like most children, Alan was born, But unlike most children, he was born in 1991.
Upon his birth, the Angel executives of planet Galgamex & the HBC network decided to document the life of this supple young 5-minute year old and broadcast it across the universe.
To date, 1923 episodes have been made. The Season One DVD was released on the 23rd May, 2008 in Region 1 (The Americas & Canada), Region 2 (Europe) and Region 3423 (Milky Way Galaxy - Right Quadrangle) to critical acclaim.

Conception

In the same year that famous acts such as The Who and Simon and Garfunkel were conducted into the Music Hall of Fame, Alan was concieved in the logical time of mid to late March. Before his conception, a first, different type of conception took place - that of a documentary to be broadcast across the galaxy documenting this fantastic human child. Glargognickax Vargonixalastial of the Netherlands, (Venus), the driving force behind such shows as "My Other Son's a Homophobe" and "My Third Penis", decided to purchase 7 intergalactic cameras disguised as satellites orbiting the Earth in 1960, approximately 30 years before Alan was born as the result of a power meeting with HBC (Heavenly Broadcasting Company) executives.

The 1969 Camera Explosion

During a test run of one of these aforementioned cameras in 1969, the satellite in question (known on Earth as "The Moon") blew up internally, and needed emergency repairs. The President of Earth at the time, already excited at the prospect of a new documentary of an earthling, promised to train Earth engineers in case such a terrible disaster ever occured again. The 1969 camera incident proved that Earth had the technical skills to repair giant satellites, and earned its President a $5 voucher to McDonalds and a free Happy Meal (when purchased with any large meal). (See Moon Landing and Apollo 11 for more information)

Episode Format

Episodes of That's So Alan are traditionally about 22 minutes long, to accomodate for ad breaks. However, there are several episodes that were made into hour specials. Notable examples include:

• The Boy and His Thumb: Alan tries to give up sucking his thumb
• The Boy and His Thumb 2: Alan starts sucking his thumb again
• Your Face: A 50 minute expose into the ugliness of the common viewer
• The Boy and His Thumb 3: Alan gives up sucking on his thumb again, but inadvertently gets addicted to crack.
• Earth TV: A startling look into what passes for good TV on earth, including Big Brother and The Jeremy Kyle Show

Characters

Due to the immense number of supporting players in That's So Alan!, only the characters who appear regularly get credited. However, due to the nature of release forms for any people in televised media, That's So Alan! credits those who appear in it under specifically made pseudonyms "based on any combination of their name, personalities and ,generally, what makes them them." Most of his school friends are credited by name pseudonyms. Adele P.Chisholm, for example, could be credited as A Dell P.C.

Birth

22 years after this, another problem arose - that of Alan's premature birth. Because he was born two weeks before projections, the crew of the new documentary were unprepared. Executive producer Mr. Malone (4 months old at this time) blamed this on the premature birth of the child in question, and is quoted as having said at an emergency press conference:

“ Gaga. Ga. Goo ga. Ge Ga Ma. ”

Upon Translation, the young producer's words were revealed to be:

“ At approximately 9.45 this morning, the child of the new documentary "Alan: Cultural Learnings of Earth for Make Benefit Glorious Planet of Galgamex"was born two weeks prematurely. Unfortunately, all of our equipment was rigged to start recording on the day of the predicted birth. We had the camera running as soon as humanly, and alienly, possible, but unfortunately missed the birth itself. But we are confident that the child himself will be proof enough that he was born. ”

Armed with this information, Mr.Malone immediately sent the raw footage to the editing room to create the first ever episode of "That's So Alan!" (Called "The One where Alan was Born, and Friends hadn't been Created Yet, so Technically They Plagarised Us")

Reception

Impact

That's So Alan! was a huge ratings success for HBC and is seen as being largely responsible for the success of channel. As of September 2008, That's So Alan! remains the highest rated series on HBC. The show's first episode, "Birth of a Baby", earned a share of 3.4 viewers, considered quite high for a documentary. By the sixth episode, "Walking, Talking Baby O' Mine", the show had reached 3.5 billion. The ratings peaked with the 97th episode of season two, "When Will You Stop Pooping?", which aired on April 22, 1992. The episode earned a share of 6.9 billion and became the highest-rated non-sports show on HBC. The success of That's So Alan! prompted more companies to carry HBC and led it to become one of the fastest-growing intergalactic channels. The number of households that had HBC jumped from 10,000 in 1989 to 50 billion in June 1992.

The show was voted "Most Compelling Documentary" and "Worst. Name. Ever. Award." by GAFTA (Galactic Academy of Film and Television Arts).

Critical Reception

That's So Alan! has been critically praised by both homegrown and intergalactic reviewers alike. The New York Times voted it #3 on the "The Most Influental Media Piece manufactured on Earth Ever" list, just losing out to "The A-Team" and "Teletubbies" respectively. Critic's reviews of the show praised the show's realism and ability to evoke emotion. James Conrad, of "Heavens and Earth TV Guide" voted it his favorite show ever, and possibly ever created. He hailed "both the nature of the boy's family, and the editing".

Completely stuck for ideas. Shouldve Written all of this when I was still drunk from breakfast.