Template:Did you know nominations/Jack Roxburgh

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:02, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Jack Roxburgh

Outdoor ice hockey in Quebec City
Outdoor ice hockey in Quebec City

5x expanded by Flibirigit (talk). Self-nominated at 01:43, 15 October 2019 (UTC).

Substantial article on plenty of excellent sources, offline souces accepted AGF, no copyvio obvious. The hook: I stumbled over "to ice hockey" because it reads as if to ice hockey was mandatory by law (until you read further). I also think that the "pictured"-clause should not come after ice hockey, because there will be better pic, but at the end, saying "pictured in Canada". Finally: with such a rich life, could you add something about turkey breader and/or member of parliament? Striking ALT1, because even the present hook is more interesting to a general reader. The article: I did some copy-editing, please check and revert what you don't like. Go for GA after this! Some images look a bit far-fetched, like the parliament, which is also awkwardly positioned. I'd drop it, but you decide. The image: it's licensed but not the greatest. Too bad we don't have one of him. The article deserves an image, just by quality, thank you! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 06:45, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
I have submitted a newer hook below, that is hopefully more attractive. Flibirigit (talk) 14:44, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
  • ALT2: ... that when Jack Roxburgh debunked the myth of lacrosse as Canada's national game, he introduced legislation on this day in 1964 to have to ice hockey (example pictured) declared the national game instead?
I'm not sure, because I don't even know what lacrosse is, nor do I care. I find turkey and parliament much more appealing than lacrosse. ALT2 has the same problems ("to ice hockey", then pictured, and not a pic of ice hockey in general, but Canada) as the original. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:52, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
  • ALT2a: ... that Jack Roxburgh introduced legislation on this day in 1964 to make ice hockey (example pictured) Canada's national game after disproving the myth that lacrosse held that distinction?
I think this flows better, but not sure if the "century-old" part would pass since the source says the myth "may" have started in 1869. MB 15:18, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
That flows better, and if you insist I approve it, but see above about the little interest of non-Canadians in lacrosse. I removed the centuries, because I believe a plain "myth" sounds even older than just a few centuries old ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:27, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
ALT2a is fine by me. Flibirigit (talk) 15:36, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
as you wish. If the image is taken, prep builder, please think about where to put (pictured). We have almost 2 weeks, - I'll watch. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:41, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Comment: It may be relevant to link to Sports_in_Canada#National_sports, instead of the individual sports. Flibirigit (talk) 15:43, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Ideally, a hook has only one link: to the subject. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:11, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Hi, coming to the discussion late. There doesn't seem to be any need for the image in ALT2a. It's not a great image at thumbnail size, either. Yoninah (talk) 19:13, 15 October 2019 (UTC)