Template:Did you know nominations/Death of Abdulredha Buhmaid

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Miyagawa (talk) 18:15, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

Death of Abdulredha Buhmaid[edit]

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Created/expanded by Mohamed CJ (talk). Self nom at 12:13, 27 July 2012 (UTC)

  • New, long enough, and generally follows guidelines. The English needs to be tightened up, but the errors or not-quite-standard style are minor; this is not a reason to delay a DYK - the Wikipedia is primarily an encyclopedia to distribute knowledge, not a work of fine literature, and moreover, it is a wiki. Minor cleaning up of language is what is easiest for the vast majority of Wikipedians, who are more likely to notice if the article is accepted in DYK. The lead does not have any references (apart from one I added), but having refs in the lead is not obligatory, and most of the references in the text seem to have labels, so an editor could add these to the lead without much effort.
  • The hook: The "peaceful" aspect of the protest is inline cited and sourced from an HRW report and a NYT Lede blog; the former is sufficient in case anyone is unsure whether the blog is well known enough to be cited. However, I could not find a source for the "two" bullets claim in the hook. IMHO this is not essential to the article, nor to the hook, so I propose ALT1.

Buhmaid memorial showing his chest open with blood apparently pouring from his neck and Bahrain red-and-white flag in the background.

  • Good to go with ALT1. Boud (talk) 21:36, 28 July 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review! I've added a citation for the "two bullets". ATL1 still sounds better. Mohamed CJ (talk) 22:24, 28 July 2012 (UTC)
  • There are problems with both citations 20 and 23 as used in the final paragraph of the Death section: they refer to someone unnamed who is said to be 18 or 19 years old. Buhmaid was 38 years old when he died, so neither of these sources can be used to support the original hook, and to use them in the article with regard to Buhmaid in particular is dubious, though their use in discussing the protest in general is likely fine.
To use ALT1 for this nomination, the sentence that says he died three days later must have its own inline source for the statement (which is a DYK rule); the citation at the end of the paragraph is not sufficient, even though it would be the same page of the report in question. (You could use the page 429 statement as well.) The "peaceful protest" part is supported. I think, under the circumstances, the assertion of two bullets, and the quotes that the article says is about Buhmaid but are about that 18 year old, need to be removed from the article before it can be approved: the information is simply not supported by the sources.
Just as a point of information, reviewers may not propose and approve their own ALT hooks. Independent approval would have been needed for ALT1 regardless, given that a new fact is introduced and must therefore be checked. BlueMoonset (talk) 23:06, 28 July 2012 (UTC)
Fixed both. Also if anyone has any ALTs to suggest, I don't mind, especially if they can get the attention of more readers.Mohamed CJ (talk) 09:26, 29 July 2012 (UTC)
  • BlueMoonset - sorry about the procedural point - i wasn't aware of the convention. Your comment on refs 20 and 23 presumably refers to this version. In ref 20 (Chulov/Guardian) i see no identifying info at all. In ref 23 Fisk/Independent, it's an 18-19 yr old (who also has leg and chest wounds), so no way to identify him with Buhmaid. So i agree that these were incorrect citations.
  • I found what i think was Mohamed CJ's misunderstanding of English subtlety at the end of the Death section - see the article Talk page. I've edited to what seems to me to be correct, but this is a sourcing/NPOV issue, so a third opinion would be useful. Boud (talk) 20:53, 29 July 2012 (UTC)
  • IMHO there is editorial convergence regarding all the citation concerns that have been raised. As i'm the reviewer who proposed ALT1, BlueMoonset or someone else should provide an independent opinion. Boud (talk) 20:53, 30 July 2012 (UTC)
The section #short biography shouldn't be on its own, it's only a blurb. Someone should check for close paraphrasing. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:54, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
  • Also, this seems to be more about the protest than Buhmaid's death. Don't know if this would be independently notable. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:56, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
  • I've expanded it. It would be harder to understand the death without the related events, especially that he died due to taking part in the protest. Sources which refer to Buhmaid's death directly: BICI report, [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8], [9], [10]. I think the rest either don't mention him or refer to him without giving his name. Mohamed CJ (talk) 07:32, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
  • Alright, my concerns are mostly addressed. This still needs a paraphrasing check though. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:48, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
  • Paraphrasing spotcheck turns up no issues. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:26, 19 August 2012 (UTC)
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