Talk:William Hamlin/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:23, 3 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"1772 – 1869)" unspaced.
Done

"state of Rhode Island" link.
Done

"He did a" yuck, made?"
Done

"He is well known for portrait engravings" maybe "He also made a number of portrait engravings of...
Done

"Hamlin was involved" also
Done

"He made sextants, quadrants, and refractor telescopes. He built the first " these aren't musical instruments, worth

introducing properly, and merge these sentences.

Done

"available to use by the public for astronomy" for astronomy? Well what else would it be used for?
Done

"Capt" abbreviation? Is it even needed?
Done

"Their other children (and Hamlin's siblings) " not sure the parenthetical clause is needed.
Done

"b.1774)" etc, space after b.
Done

"His father's occupation was as a pewterer" His father was a ...
Done

"He was a person of scientific skills, even though he was self-taught on these technical abilities." opinion.
Done

"goldsmith in Middletown, Connecticut.[8] His" overlinked.
Done

"in 1791.[11] In 1793 " repetitive.
Done

"and did mainly engraving of" -> "and mainly engraved...
Done

" St. John's church" is it the formal name, i.e. Church?
Done

" sold all kinds of" sold various.
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"and sheet music with " comma after music.
Done

"Hamlin 1826 telescope admission ticket purchased by those interested in using it." - remove from "purchased...
Done

"become an engraver. His" link it first time.
Done

"His first attempts at engraving were done on copper" "done on" is horrible. maybe "were with"
Done

"and did this as an additional business" delete, and add "also" in the previous part of the sentence.
Done

"The ticket is titled HAMLIN'S REFLECTING TELESCOPE..." none of this is needed, the image is there.
Done

"Hamlin did a variety of engravings" avoid "did" again, maybe "made"?
Done

"were done on order" which were ordered? Requested? Bought?
Done

"Portraits of George Washington are his most enduring legacy" according to whom?
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"He did four ..." c'mon...
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"death of George Washington" don't repeat his first name.
Done

" his most famous work" says who?
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"engraving he did is " last warning.
Done

"that of the Experiment" italics for boat names.
Done

Apply that to the gallery notes too.
Done

"ticket for The Experiment" ditto.
Done

"four of which" four of whom.
Done

"29, 1852. [2]" no space before ref.
Done

Ref 10 and 19 have spaced hyphen, should be en-dash.
Done

ISBNs should be consistently formatted.
Done

That's my lot. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 15:50, 4 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for review. I'll get started on it, right after my nap = that's what old people do! --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:15, 4 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:34, 4 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]