Talk:Snakebite/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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I will begin reviewing here, and make straightforward changes as I go. If I inadvertently change the meaning, feel free to revert me. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:00, 17 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Snakes often bite their prey when hunting, but also occasionally bite humans, usually for defensive purposes. - this sounds very awkward as a beginning two sentences, but an alternative doesn't spring readily to mind.

..but there are a number of preventative measures people can take, such as wearing protective footwear and avoiding areas known to be inhabited by dangerous snakes. - shouldn't sound like it is giving medical advice, or a how-to section.

Hi! The beginning sentence has always sounded awkward to me too. It was changed from "A snakebite is a bite inflicted by a snake" because it was tautological, but I haven't come up with anything better than what we have now. There's the intro at spider bite we can consider as well: A spider bite is an injury resulting from a spider's accidental or defensive interaction with humans. Perhaps that one sounds better. I'm not sure I agree with you that telling people to wear footwear and avoid snakes is medical advice or even a how-to, since it seems like common sense. The introduction is meant to summarize the article and we have an entire section on prevention, so I'm not sure what to do here as simply removing that sentence wouldn't be helpful. Do you have any suggestions as to how to rephrase it?--Eightofnine (talk) 04:50, 19 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Not as yet. I think I may have bitten off more than I intended to chew with this one, but it would be good to get back to GA (and one day hopefully FA) status. Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:48, 19 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Symptoms common to all bites, such as terror and tachycardia, are psychological and caused by the victim's panic. - this is a problem as the source uses the same word. "Tachycardia" is a sign where a doctor records that a patient has a raised heartbeat. The symptom that a person feels where their heart is racing is "palpitations". The latter word is commonly used in connection with a sense of panic, the latter seldom is. However, the source is frustrating me on the correct word usage.

I am wondering whether there is a slight US preponderance. I am Australian and I recall other info which might be included, such as the Eastern Brown Snake's aggression being a factor in its prominence in Australian snake bites.

I see that Snake venom is a separate article. Tricky this as it is sort of integral to the topic of snakebite. I feel a little more elaboration on the basic types might be prudent here.

Overall, looking okay. I will ask a couple of people about comprehensiveness before revisiting. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:45, 28 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

IMO, the "terror and tachycardia" sentence is pretty much wrong.

First, the issue with elevated heart rate can also be considered a symptom: the difference is whether the patient says "my heart is beating so fast" or someone else says "your heart is beating so fast".

The source directly contradicts this implication that the elevated heart rate is always purely an emotional issue, because some venoms cause blood pressure to drop, and an elevated heart rate is a perfectly natural response to falling blood pressure.

It's also a perfectly natural response to a bunch of adrenaline, which is not exactly "psychological" nor precisely "caused by panic".

Finally, a lot of people experience zero terror and zero tachycardia with snake bites. A kid who is familiar with garter snakes, who has handled them repeatedly, and who one day gets nipped for his trouble, is unlikely to be terrified by the experience.

I think that the sentence would more closely reflect the source if it said something like, "Being bit by a snake can be extremely frightening, especially if the snake is believed to be venomous. This terror produces a characteristic set of symptoms mediated by the autonomic nervous system, such as a racing heart and nausea." WhatamIdoing (talk) 17:44, 28 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The source also states "Autonomic reactions related to terror must be differentiated from systemic manifestations of envenomation", which should be covered (and not contradicted) here. Fvasconcellos (t·c) 18:22, 28 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Should the actual article be titled "Snake bite" or "Snakebite"? ---kilbad (talk) 18:57, 28 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"Snakebite" is perfectly fine. It's a word :) Fvasconcellos (t·c) 22:01, 28 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The article is of high standard. I think that it is good enough to pass the GA standard. However the "Pathophysiology", "Prevention" and "Treatment" sections would benefit from more references. Axl ¤ [Talk] 18:38, 29 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Update -I do think we're nearly there - I have just tagged a few sentences that really stand out as needing an inline reference before passing GA. Some other sections could d with some more as well, but not necessary for GA. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:24, 5 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I added some citations but I can't find any for two of the marked sentences. These two sentences seem kind of dubious to me so I'm thinking we should just remove them altogether?--98.232.98.144 (talk) 18:30, 5 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, I wondered about some of them. They can always be readded if refs turn up. right then, GA done. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:36, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]