Talk:Robert Dirks

Robert Dirks has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: August 12, 2016. (Reviewed version).

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A fact from Robert Dirks appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 24 July 2015 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Robert Dirks, a research chemist known for his work in DNA nanotechnology, died in the 2015 Valhalla train crash?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2015/July. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Robert Dirks.

Wikipedia

Are my edits OK?[edit]

Hi,

I've made some edits to Robert Dirks' Wikipedia page this morning to provide a few more details of Robert's early life and to fix a few factual errors. Then I came across the "Conflict of Interest" page and realized I shouldn't have made these edit's directly since I am Robert's brother. What is the correct way to proceed now?

Thanks for your help,

Billdirks (talk) 16:24, 27 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for asking. We appreciate your diligence. My condolence for the loss of your brother.

I have no doubt that what you added is true, but it should be sourced as everything around it is. Are there other obits that possibly mention this information? Daniel Case (talk) 03:40, 28 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your condolences and thanks for writing this article. I looked at the revision differences between my changes and the previous article and have listed the differences below and references if I had them. I am hesitant to directly edit the article again, but let me know if you want me to add these references or if there is anything else I should do.

Line 42

My edit: English teacher => mathematics teacher

I see that it was reported in the Bangkok Post that my father, Mike, was an English teacher. This wasn't the case. The only published source I can find, however, is an article my father wrote in the Spokesman Review in 2008:

http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2008/nov/29/geithners-interest-in-math-started-as-teen/

My edit: Younger brother => older brother:

The Spokesman Review obiturary has this (references 5,7), the Newsday article (3), and a Wall Street Journal article:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/three-victims-of-metro-north-crash-all-men-each-bringing-his-best-1423189608

My edit: Vancouver, WA => Vancouver, BC, Canada:

There was some confusion about which Vancouver we moved to. It was Vancouver, BC, Canada. The Wall Street Journal reports it correctly:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/three-victims-of-metro-north-crash-all-men-each-bringing-his-best-1423189608

The motivation behind our move (my father going to school) was an addition I made that wasn't reported anywhere.

My edit: The => Four years later

I don't think the date we moved to Spokane was reported anywhere.

My edit: Spokane Community College => Spokane Falls Community College

This is in the Spokesman Review obituary (references 5, 7).

My edit: Addition of the ExploraVision contest.

An article from the Spokesman Review stating they won 2nd place:

http://www.spokesman.com/stories/1996/jun/16/francoise-kuester-chosen-gus-teacher-of-the-year/

I don't have a link but there was a spread in USA Today, July 7, 1996 on page 7A entitled "Toshiba NSTA ExploraVision Awards" showing the winners including Robert and his teammates. This may have been a paid for by Toshiba and the National Science Teachers Association.

An article from the Spokesman Review going into more details about Robert and his teammates:

http://m.spokesman.com/stories/1996/mar/23/teens-are-cranked-on-atomic-energy-lewis-and/

My edit: Addition of Phi Beta Kappa

This is in the DE Shaw obituary (reference 6).

Line 62

My edit: 2011 => 2010

I don't have a published reference for the exact year Christine became a stay at home mom. Billdirks (talk) 18:03, 28 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. As I am on vacation right now I don't have a lot of time to fully look at this (in fact later this week I'll be going off the grid entirely for almost two weeks, and then comes Wikimania) But I will when I get the chance. Daniel Case (talk) 05:59, 29 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the edits and inclusion of the references. I've noticed one more correction. The top section lists the correct date of death (February 3rd, 2015). The "Later life and death" section incorrectly states the date is February 5th. The included reference 1 states the correct date. Billdirks (talk)

@Billdirks:

Done. Sorry about that ... I think it was my mistake; probably confused the date of some reporting about the accident with the date the accident had actually happened. Daniel Case (talk) 06:19, 24 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the edits and the creation of Robert's wikipedia page. I have one more for you on the Valhalla train crash page. I noticed there it states Robert died at 38 instead of 36. One of the citation's there, 33, has his correct age. Thanks again, I appreciated you doing all this. Billdirks (talk) — Preceding undated comment added 16:54, 2 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I've made that correction at Valhalla train crash. Thanks for bringing these corrections to our attention. Antony–22 (^talk⁄_contribs) 02:15, 12 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Robert Dirks/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jclemens (talk · contribs) 05:25, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Some issues identified
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	No issues noted.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Appropriate
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Appropriate
	2c. it contains no original research.	None seen.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Nothing seen with Earwig's tool.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Appropriate.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	No coatracks noted.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	No issues noted.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Nothing noted.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	fair use image acceptable for deceased subject.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	No issues. "File:Mao-4armjunction-schematic.png" says it should be replaced with the .svg version, but that's not a GA criterion.
	7. Overall assessment.	Passing per improvements in prose.

First read through[edit]

"Four years later the family settled in the elder Dirks' hometown" Who? His dad's hometown? I think that's right but I'm still not sure. Should be clarified/simplified, please.

Done Changed to "Michael's" Daniel Case (talk) 01:42, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"he received the top score of 5 on every Advanced Placement exam he took" How many was that? What were they? Means something very different if he took 5 AP exams vs. only one.

I wish we could say more, but that's all the source in question gives us. It doesn't say how many. Daniel Case (talk) 01:42, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

OK Jclemens (talk) 02:48, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"chosen as class valedictorian in 1996" The chosen valedictorian is often the student with the highest ranking among his/her graduating class., but is an honor bestowed on the student having the highest GPA.

"The chosen valedictorian is often the student with the highest ranking among his/her graduating class." Again, this is as his obituary in the Spokesman-Review describes it. Our own article describes it as a chosen position, not always based on academic accomplishment: ""'In other schools, the position may be elected by the school body or appointed directly by the school administration based on various systems of merit." Daniel Case (talk) 01:42, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

OK Jclemens (talk) 02:48, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"shortly after graduation Robert and three of his classmates learned that their entry in the ExploraVision national scientific contest was one of three high school winners earning them and their families a trip to Washington, D.C." Their learning of the victory is a transient event, and I would rephrase that to focus on the enduring value of that early achievement, not the joy of finding out.

Done rephrased. Daniel Case (talk) 03:14, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The whole last paragraph in the early life section, about his college and graduate school, seems to have needlessly complex sentences.

Done Antony–22 (^talk⁄_contribs) 23:09, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

There's quite a bit of overlinking going on. Train station? Raise? I'd avoid hiding concepts behind words like that.

Done Antony–22 (^talk⁄_contribs) 23:09, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Not a lot of prose, and most of it is OK, but there's ample room for some polishing here. Jclemens (talk) 05:48, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Placing this on hold for a prose review, everything else looks fine. Jclemens (talk) 05:49, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

... and that's a pass. Thanks! Jclemens (talk) 04:45, 12 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]