Talk:MTrain Tour/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 10:10, 5 January 2019 (UTC)
- Lead and infobox
- The infobox image requires ALT text.
- For this sentence (It was launched in support of her debut major-label studio album Title (2015), and visited North America.), the word “visited” sounds odd to me in this context. I am not sure if it is the right or the best word choice. Maybe something else would be better?
- I have a comment for this sentence (Reviews for the tour were generally positive, with critics praising Trainor's live performing ability. ). You mention that the tour received multiple “reviews” and multiple “critics” had identified Trainor’s “live performing ability” as a highlight; however, when I look at the “Synopsis and reception” section, I only see one critic, which contradicts this. I would either change this line in the lead or try to find more critics.
- Background and development
- Please use Meghan Trainor’s full name and wikilink her on the first mention in the body of the article. This is because the lead and the body of the article are treated separately.
- For this part (The set list included fourteen songs from Trainor's album Title), you can just say Title as you have already introduced the album in a previous sentence.
- Synopsis and reception
- You could similify the following sentences (The set includes two acoustic performances where Trainor performs alone with a ukulele and a guitar; first for her performance of "Title" and the second time for a mashup of her song "3am" and Mraz's song "I'm Yours". ) to (Trainor performs acoustic version of “Title” and a mashup of her song "3am" and Mraz's song "I'm Yours” with a ukulele and a guitar.)
- I would attribute the "new, island vibe” quote in the prose.
- For this part (Trainor performs her song Better When I'm Dancin'.), the song needs to be in quotation marks.
- Was there anything about her performance of "Lips Are Movin”?
- This is a clarification question for this sentence (Close Your Eyes" and "Like I'm Gonna Lose You" precede a performance of "Marvin Gaye" for which Charlie Puth joins Trainor.) Did Puth perform with Trainor on every tour date?
- As mentioned above, you only have critical review here. Reference 7 seems to a review (at least by the title); why have you not included that person’s feedback in the prose? Also, are there any other reviews of this concert out there?
- Tour cancelation
- For this part (On July 6, 2015, Trainor announced that her doctors wanted her on "complete vocal rest" until her vocal cords healed, this led to the rescheduling of the Detroit and Chicago dates to September 11, 2015, and September 9, 2015, respectively, as well as the cancelation of Trainor's performance at the Common Ground Music Festival in Lansing.), I think the comma after “healed” should be a semicolon instead.
- The final sentence has a lot of references. If you want to keep all of them, then I would bundle them together to avoid a citation overkill.
- Shows
- Why are there so many references by “North America”?
- Final comments
- Wonderful work with this article. My comments are relatively minor. My major concern is the critical reception part, but other than that, it was a nice read. Hope you are doing well. Aoba47 (talk) 10:10, 5 January 2019 (UTC)
- Everything
Done. Thanks for a wonderful review! As for the lack of reviews, this tour unfortunately derived most of its notability from the vocal cord hemorrhage and individual show reviews were very few. The only one I haven't used is this one from WXCU Radio, but thats a student run radio station so thats why I don't want to use it as a source. And to answer the Charlie Puth question, yes he joined her for "Marvin Gaye" on every date except the Canada one.--NØ 10:47, 5 January 2019 (UTC)
- Everything
