Talk:Lionel Messi/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Hi! I will be reviewing this article. Check back for further comments. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 17:52, 8 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Quick fail criteria[edit]

  1. Has reliable sources
  2. Is written neutrally
  3. No valid cleanup tags
  4. Is relatively stable with no edit wars
  5. Not specifically concerned with a rapidly unfolding current event with a definite endpoint
  • Article passes quick fail criteria. A more detailed review will follow. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 00:47, 9 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I'd like to apologise for the delay in reviewing in the article. Unfortunately real-life commitments mean I won't be able to review the article until Monday morning (UTC) at the earliest. My sincerest apologies again for the delay. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 02:52, 12 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It's OK, I'm busy at the moment anyway Spiderone (talk) 15:24, 12 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Full review[edit]

Apologies for the delay. Please note, I will not have time to check the references, so I will do that at a later stage.

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
  • Criterion 1a - prose
    • Lead section: "His playing style and ability have drawn comparisons to football legend Diego Maradona. Indeed, Maradona himself declared Messi his "successor"." - combine these into one sentence. Something like "His playing style and ability have drawn comparisons to football legend Diego Maradona, who himself declared Messi his "successor"."
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:44, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Lead section: "He left Newell's Old Boys's youth team in 2000 and moved with his family to Europe," - where was Newell's Old Boys?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:44, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Early life section: "but did not have enough money to pay for the treatment of the illness that cost $900 a month" is a little wordy and awkward. Try to shorten it down a little, to something like "but did not have enough money to pay for his treatment, as it was $900 a month"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:44, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Early life section: This sentence is too long --> "Carles Rexach, the sporting director of FC Barcelona, was made aware of Messi's talent as Messi had relatives in Catalonia so Messi and his father managed to arrange a trial, and FC Barcelona signed him after watching him play, offering to pay for the medical bills if he was willing to move to Spain". Split it into two; I think the best place would be after "arrange a trial".
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:44, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • FC Barcelona section: His "unofficial debut"? Why was it unofficial? Was it a friendly or something? If it was, note it.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:51, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • FC Barcelona section: "when Bojan Krkić, again, broke this record" - the "again" is unnecessary.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:51, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2005–06 season section: "However, his season ended prematurely on 7 March 2006" --> "His season ended prematurely on 7 March 2006, however" - I was always taught that it is bad grammar to put however at the start of a sentence.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:51, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006–07 season section: Who is Frank Rijkaard? Is he the manager, the coach, his doctor?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:16, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006–07 season section: "Once again, El Clásico" --> this indicates that you've mentioned Messi's performance in El Clásico, but you haven't. Remove the "once again".
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:51, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006–07 season section: "hit a hat-trick" --> "score a hat-trick"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:51, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006–07 season section: "press exploded with" - reword the "exploded"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:51, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2007–08 season section: "He scored two goals against FC Sevilla on 22 September. A few days earlier he had scored as Barcelona defeated Olympique Lyonnais 3–0 at home in a Champions League match" --> put this in chronological order (i.e. the order in which it happened).
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:16, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2007–08 season section: "Leo Messi" --> "Messi"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:16, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2007–08 season section: "that the player suffered" --> "that Messi suffered"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:16, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2008–09 season section: "With Ronaldinho's departure" --> "Upon Ronaldinho's departure"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:01, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2008–09 season section: "during the last seven minutes after coming on" --> "during the last seven minutes, after coming on"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2008–09 season section: "a victory for Barcelona 2–1." --> "a 2–1 victory for Barcelona."
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2008–09 season section: What's "Copa del Rey"? Wikilink if possible. Actually, noticing that's wikilinked in the last paragrph of the 2008–08 season section. Change the link to the first instance please.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2008–09 season section: "in a 1–0 at Getafe" --> missing word. Should be "in a 1–0 win at Getafe" I believe.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2008–09 season section: "a frantic end"?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 11:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • FIFA World Cup 2006 section: "He also played in the farewell match against the Argentine U-20" - what's a farewell match? Do you mean the last match before they went to the World Cup or what?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • FIFA World Cup 2006 section: "against Germany after which they lost 4-2 on a penalty shootout" - implies that because Messi was on the bench, they lost 4-2. Change this to "against Germany, which they lost 4-2 on a penalty shootout"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Personal life section: The second time you mention Antonella Roccuzzo, you should use "Roccuzzo", not "Antonella"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Personal life section: "He features" --> He is featured
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Personal life section: "is the face of Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 where he is also involved" --> "is the face of Pro Evolution Soccer 2010, and was also involved"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Criterion 1b - MOS
    • Please put the personal life section before the statistics and honours section ot improve the flow of the article.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 17:20, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Make sure each link occurs only once (WP:OVERLINK), I noticed "Barça" for one, and "Copa del Rey" is wikilinked twice in the one paragrpah. Also "La Liga" and "UEFA Champions League". In the Copa America 2007 section, you link "Copa America" twice.
     Done I changed the ones in the last paragraph to season-specific links Spiderone (talk) 17:20, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
     Done Spiderone (talk) 17:20, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
     Done Spiderone (talk) 17:20, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
     Done Spiderone (talk) 17:20, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Criterion 2a - references
    • FC Barcelona section: source needed for "Bojan Krkić, again, broke this record, scoring from a Messi assist."
     Done Spiderone (talk) 15:44, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2005-06 season section: source for "and was finally able to make his debut in the season's Spanish First Division. He had previously been unable to play because Barcelona had filled their quota of non-EU players."?
     Done removed original research Spiderone (talk) 17:00, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006-07 season section: "Frank Rijkaard carefully managed his complete return, gradually increasing playing minutes with each game. One month after his return, on 10 March, he played his first full league match since the injury against Real Madrid." needs a source.
     Done removed original research Spiderone (talk) 17:07, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006-07 season section: "the first Barcelona player since Romário (1993–94 season) to hit a hat-trick in El Clásico" needs a source.
     Done removed Spiderone (talk) 12:59, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006-07 season section: Deco's quote, "There's no other like Leo." is not covered by the source.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 12:59, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006-07 season section: Reference 39 mentions the Espanyol players protesting, so use it to reference that sentence, which is currently unreferenced.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:01, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2007-08 season: "Various football personalities such as Ronaldinho, Samuel Eto'o, Frank Rijkaard, Bernd Schuster, Raúl, Gianluca Zambrotta, Francesco Totti, Alfredo di Stéfano, Diego Maradona and Pelé have all, at one time or another, declared that they consider Messi to be one of the current best footballers in the world" is not covered by the cites provided. I don't speak Spanish, so I ran the sources through google translate, and the only I got praising Messi was Francesco Totti. The rest need to be removed or sourced.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:01, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • International career section: source for "On 4 August 2005, Argentina manager José Pekerman called Messi up to the senior Argentine national team."?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:01, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • International career section: "sent off after just 40 seconds" - both sources says it was around 2 minutes.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:01, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Copa America 2007 section: source for "When the Copa started, Messi was the youngest player in the tournament."?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 16:01, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It is listed here: Wikipedia:WikiProject Football/Links Spiderone (talk) 08:04, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Fine. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 09:16, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • What makes footballdatabase.com a reliable source?
It is on an FA Thierry Henry and Joey Barton which is a GA Spiderone (talk) 08:04, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Fine. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 09:16, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Reference 28 is a youtube link, which is most likely copyrighted footage. This needs to be replaced.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 17:03, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Criterion 6b - appropriate use of images with suitable captions
    • Please add a caption to the image in the infobox.
I did but it got removed since it's frowned upon by others. Spiderone (talk) 15:44, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Really? Strange. Well, obviously, if consensus is not to have it, then that's fine, but I personally have always preferred a caption in the infobox. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 16:14, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2006–07 season section: please switch the positions of the images (i.e. put the bottom one in the position the top one is currently in, and vice versa). This is per MOS:IMAGES - "place images of faces so that the face or eyes look toward the text".
     Done Spiderone (talk) 08:57, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • 2007-2008 season section:, the image caption says "Messi takes Barça to 2:0 against Sevilla at Camp Nou on 22 September 2007" (emphasis mine). Thourghout the article, you've said 3–0, 4–1, etc, with a dash. Please do the same in the image captions.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 08:57, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments
    • Overall, an interesting and well-written article. Apologies once again for the delay, and apologies for having to keep you waiting for the review of the references. It'll be done in the next 24 hours or so. References review now completed.
    • I don't anticipate any major problems with the sources, so I am placing this article on hold for seven days to allow you to fix the problems listed so far. If the work is completed before then, I will pass the article before the seven days are up. If no attempts are made to correct the problems, I will fail the article in seven days. If you are not finished, I have no problem in extending the hold period to allow you to finish, as long as I see work is being carried out on the article.
    • To make it easier for me to see how much work has been done, please either strike each comment when the problem has been fixed or post a note underneath each item saying it is completed.
    • Feel free request to clarification on anything; you can leave comments on my talk page or here, as I have this page watchlisted.
♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 10:29, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Excellent work! I'll do a final readthrough in the next day or so. Good job so far. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 17:15, 17 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final read-through[edit]

  • Early life section: "Carles Rexach, the sporting director of FC Barcelona, was made aware of his talent as Messi had relatives in Catalonia so Messi and his father managed to arrange a trial" --> "Carles Rexach, the sporting director of FC Barcelona, had been made aware of his talent, as Messi had relatives in Catalonia, and Messi and his father were able to arrange a trial".
  • 2008–09 season section: "match billed as a friendly battle between Messi and good friend Sergio Agüero." --> "match billed as a friendly battle between Messi and his good friend Sergio Agüero."
  • 2008-09 season section: "scoring one and assisting another two, in a 4–1 victory over Athletic Bilbao." --> "scoring one goal and assisting another two, in a 4–1 victory over Athletic Bilbao."
  • 2008-09 season section: "giving Barcelona a two goal lead, he also became the top scorer in the Champions League with nine goals" --> "giving Barcelona a two goal lead; he also became the top scorer in the Champions League with nine goals"
  • 2009-09 season section: "That meant Barcelona had won the Copa del Rey, La Liga and UEFA Champions League this season. This was the first time a Spanish club had ever won the treble." --> "This victory meant Barcelona had won the Copa del Rey, La Liga and UEFA Champions League in the one season, and was the first time a Spanish club had ever won the treble."
  • International career section: "for Argentina against Peru, after the match Pekerman" --> "for Argentina against Peru; after the match Pekerman"
  • FIFA World Cup 2006 section: "also scored the final goal in the 6–0 victory, that made him the youngest scorer" --> "also scored the final goal in the 6–0 victory, making him the youngest scorer"
  • FIFA World Cup 2006 section: "He appeared to score a goal, but was ruled offside" --> "He appeared to score a goal, but it was ruled offside"
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Lionel_Messi/GA1&oldid=1136262212"