Talk:James McDivitt/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:34, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- I would merge the single-sentence opening "para" of the lead with the second para, and start the second sentence with "He".
- Also USAF is overlinked and abbreviated on the second instance.
- "Apollo Lunar Module" Apollo is part of the formal title.
- "brigadier general" this is capitalised in the infobox?
- Correct, per MOS:MILTERMS. Ranks are conventionally capitalised in the Infoboxes for the benefit of automated processes that use them. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
- "rank of Tenderfoot Scout" no need to repeat Scout.
- "in July 1962.[5] By September 1962" repetitive, perhaps "The following September" or "Two months later..."?
- "EVA ("spacewalk")" bit late in the article to start saying what EVA means to laypeople.
- "He got a camera and took" do we need, "got a camera and"?
- Is there a link for Mylar insulation?
- Changed to Multi-layer insulation. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
- "commander (CDR) of" CDR doesn't seem to be used anywhere?
- "commanded by Frank Borman, with" overlinked.
- Unlinked
- "the CM and" what's CM?
- PLSS isn't used anywhere.
- "and a Director" why is this capitalised?
- "NASA Exceptional Service Medal.[23]" no full stop.
- "Hall of Fame in 2012.[40]" similarly
- ref 16, %?
- Ref 22: "he American Presidency"?
- Ref 50, 51, we don't normally consider IMDB a reliable source.
That's all for me. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 13:30, 6 September 2021 (UTC)