Talk:Hyperkinesia/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 15:58, 8 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 15:58, 8 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

Ref #7 appears to be a deadlink.
"As defined by Hogan and Sternad, “posture” is a nonzero time period during which bodily movement is minimal." give full names of the two on first mention; also reword as "Hogan and Sternad define "posture" as a nonzero..."
In the second definition paragraph, I'm not really a fan of all the single-word quotes; they don't seem necessary to me.
"yet distinctly differs from both hypertonia and negative signs," negative signs doesn't need to be italicized, but also what does that mean exactly?
Wikilink specific terms that could be beneficial. Most are, but I see a few that aren't (e.g. Friedreich's ataxia, subthalamic nucleus)
The pathophysiology section is tough for a non-expert to read. It's something that's naturally going to be difficult to explain, but a prose fine-tuning may be beneficial here.
There are a couple uses of "for example" in the article; remove those.
This is only tangentially related to this article, but the pages for Hyperkinesia and Hyperkinesis both note that the other word can be used. If that's the case, couldn't both be combined into this article, since this is written in a rather broad format already?

While the article is not too far off from GA, the above issues will take a while to fix, and since this was an educational assignment for a class that ended a while ago, I don't expect this to be picked up. As a result, I'm failing this as a GA. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 01:36, 10 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]