Talk:Hughes Airwest Flight 706/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Racepacket (talk) 04:19, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

Please fix this disamb. link: Near-miss. External links check out.

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    " Diagnostics revealed" →" Diagnostic tests at Mountain Home revealed"
    "had died previously.[2]"→"had died prior to the crash.[2]"
    "the pilot was subsequently unable to eject"→"the pilot was consequently unable to eject"
    "investigating National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) team"→"National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) investigation team"
    "A Federal Aviation Administration study in 1968"→"An FAA study in 1968"
    "require military aircraft to file"→"require military aircraft on cross-country flights to file"
    "move all related court actions to California."->"move all related court actions to the Central District of California."
    Why do you use the abbreviations VFR and IFR in the Flight histories section and then stop using them in later sections?
    I would include the fatality count in the lead paragraphs.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    Fn, 4, 8, 22 and 33 are dead.
    Fn. 9, 11 and 25 need Retrieved date.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    You say that the Mountain Home AFB could not repair the transponder. What about the degraded radar?
    Are there any published data on how many flights landed at El Toro and LAX in 1971.
    You might want to add that El Toro has since been shut down.
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    Nice photo and animation. Thank you for donating them.
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    I am placing the article on hold. Racepacket (talk) 06:35, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Response(s)[edit]

Note- this will be updated piecemeal as I edit between classes. I may do some edits as my alt (User:OldManInACoffeeCan) if at a school terminal. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • Prose updated with suggestions above. The only one not incorporated was the one about military cross-country flights. The sources indicate that it was cross country flights and flights to-and-from military bases that had to file flight plans. Since that pretty much covers all or most military flights in the US, I left it as just "required military flights to file flight plans." But if you think it needs to be changes I'll be sure to expand. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
You are correct that it applies to most flights in the US.
  • Re the dead links. They're offline sources, I just happened to find copies on Google News Archive. The links have since gone dead, but the newspapers are still valid. Will you accept them in good faith if I remove the dead links? --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
There is no prohibition against printed sources. Reliable sources do not have to be online. However, if a link goes dead and you can't find another, then you must remove the link.
Dead links have been removed, citations for offline sources remain. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:25, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Fine.
  • Re section 4 questions and points:
    • Mountain Home AFB could not fix the radar either. I updated the sentence and reverified the source.
    • I may be able to find LAX stats in a newspaper, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I do have a source that states that Los Angeles was the single busiest and most dangerous (in terms of near-misses) air spaces at that time, but I personally don't think it passes WP:RS. It's an editorial from a daily newspaper. I will see what I can do to find the LAX stats.
    • I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find El Toro stats, on the other hand, since it was a military base, so there would be a whole lot of top secret stuff going on, especially since this was during the Vietnam War.
    • I have updated the article to mention that El Toro has since closed, and added a source. --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:18, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:26, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do we have sources to support adding a sentence to the chronology that the military pilot did not inform civilian flight control of his changes from the flight plan?
Since he was flying VFR, the military pilot did not file a flight plan. Civilian flight control was never aware he was there, until the collision, that is. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:26, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Most DC-9 references have hyphens, but the last two in the Investigation section are missing hyphens.
  • Last F-4 in the Investigation section is also missing the hyphen. The one in the Aftermath section is missing the hyphen as well.
Hyphens have been fixed. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:51, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Good work. Congratulations. I made one more change from jetliner → airliner for consistency. You might also want to standardize on either F-4 or F-4B in the text of the article. Thanks, Racepacket (talk) 23:12, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot! --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 03:23, 26 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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