Talk:Give Me a Ring Sometime/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Gabriel Yuji (talk · contribs) 01:51, 13 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

It looks great, but the are some issues:

General

Ted Danson and Shelley Long are examples of articles that shouldn't be linked repeatedly per WP:OVERLINK

Done. --George Ho (talk) 00:31, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure about the structure (even if it's the first episodes); plot usually comes first e.g Pilot (Supernatural), Pilot (The X-Files)

Done --Gh87 in the public computer (talk) 01:19, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

the parentheses are unnecessary; you may also remove "in order of appearance"
the source on airdate is unnecessary per WP:LEADCITE
I don't think it's necessary to mention what shows were part of "Must See TV".
if you do the above-mentioned suggestion (to avoid a short second paragraph) I would suggest you to split "In the original script ... to start over" and merge it to "Ratings were low ... Best Writing in 1983."
you say nothing about the plot

Can you elaborate? Do you mean, don't say the plot, or write more about it? --Gh87 in the public computer (talk) 01:20, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I mean, the lead "should briefly summarize the most important points covered in an article". The plot is an important part of the article and it isn't summarized in the lead; you should do so.

Done all. --George Ho (talk) 00:52, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Casting

"wisecracking, cynical waitress" and "gravelly-voiced bartender" would fit better in the character descriptions above
you missed a parenthesis on "(making Sam a former relief pitcher for the Boston Red Sox"; maybe you can remove it since it's mentioned above in the character descriptions
"(as Carla)"; parentheses are not needed
"Les Charles,,"
I don't think the previous roles of actors are really necessary; removing it, you can merge the then-small paragraphs by topic

Done all. George Ho (talk) 01:04, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Production

There is a solo article for Glen and Les Charles, so link it as such

Glen and Les Charles is a merger of two articles. Gh87 in the public computer (talk) 01:23, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Exactly, it's a single article, but they are linked separately in the sentence: "The creators of Cheers (and the crew of Taxi), co-writers Glen and Les Charles and director James Burrows,"

Done. --George Ho (talk) 00:29, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

"As owner Sam Malone (Ted Danson) opens the bar Sumner Sloane"; maybe a comma would be helpful to avoid to think the bar name is Sumner Sloane(?)

Done. --George Ho (talk) 00:29, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Maybe you can paraphrase some sentences, but sincerely I have no complaint here

Which ones? George Ho (talk) 01:04, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

None specifically. In fact, there's no problem with the section. However, to avoid to use directly quotes and paraphrase some sentences is recommended in WP:PARAPHRASE. But if you don't feel it's a problem, I actually have no complaint on it.

Paraphrasing ain't easy; let it go. --George Ho (talk) 03:40, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry but I messed up... the plot detail was already included in the lead... I just rewrote it how it was before, but divided the paragraphs in a different way, and added a bit of proudction, which in fact wasn't included in the lead. I also broke the long "Casting" paragraph. Tell me what you think about its current state. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 03:03, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Oh... either version is fine, but I'm relieved that I don't have to put too much detail (despite no preference). Let's stick to the current version for now. --George Ho (talk) 03:40, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm about to pass it, but first I'll do a source check. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:00, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

There is a dead link. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:02, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Google Newspapers removed Anchorage Daily News. However, I still affirm its verifiability. --George Ho (talk) 11:33, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Even if I assume good faith, it's definitely a problem. There's no way to replace it? If you can't replace it, in fact, there's no problem since, per the third point of WP:DEADREF, you can just remove it. ;) Gabriel Yuji (talk) 19:54, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Done. George Ho (talk) 07:44, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

When I access the info on Toasting Cheers: An Episode Guide to the 1982-1993 Comedy Series with Cast Biographies and Character Profiles, it's said to be published by Praetorian Publishing, but the article says McFarland & Co. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:08, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Done --George Ho (talk) 11:33, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

You should be consistent on what format you want to use for references. Sometimes it's formated "Month Day, Year", but sometimes it's formated "Day Month Year". Probably, the first way is the best since its about an American sitcom. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:11, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Done --George Ho (talk) 11:33, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've just passed as it isn't a criteria to have the refs perfectly formatted, but I would suggest to use cite web in all of them instead of only in some. Great work! Gabriel Yuji (talk) 00:27, 17 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]