Talk:Frederick Morrell Zeder/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review[edit]

GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 18:32, 3 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • No need to link engineer and it creates a confusing sea of blue.
  •  Done


  • " Allis-Chalmers and Studebaker" context, what are/were these organisations?
  •  Done


  • "rubber motor mounts" link.
  •  Done


  • "core engineering people that" people reads odd to me, perhaps team?
  •  Done


  • "the present day" hyphenate in this usage.
  •  Done


  • "He came up with innovations like " -> "His innovations included"
  •  Done


  • "Then his family lived in Bay City, Michigan" by Then do you mean "at that time" or "subsequently"?
  •  Done


  • "Zeder had four brothers... " use first name here as lots of Zeders have been noted previously.
  •  Done


  • Link "public schools" because that means something different in the UK.
  •  Done


  • ""was as a helper being a machinist's" -> "was as a machinist's"
  •  Done


  • "Bay City (manufacturer of" -> "Bay City, a manufacturer of..."
  •  Done


  • "a railroad call boy (waking up the train crew in the morning) for" no italics and perhaps: "a railroad call boy, responsible for waking up the train crew in the morning, for"
  •  Done


  • "Central Railroad.[6] He oversaw railroad" -> "Central Railroad where he oversaw railroad"
  •  Done


  • "to have them oiled " ->" ensuring they were"
  •  Done


  • "In high school" -> "While at high school"
  •  Done


  • "public high school Bay City" odd way round? or missing word?
  •  Done


  • "Zeder went to the" attended?
  •  Done


  • "Bachelor of Science" could link.
  •  Done


  • "apprentice" is overlinked.
  •  Done


  • "This is where " -> "There"
  •  Done


  • "met Carl Breer" context, how, in what capacity?
  •  Done


  • "such a student and was from Stanford University." so he was studying a second degree? Or a post-grad course/doctorate?
  •  Done


  • "friends in their" during.
  •  Done


  • "the E-M-F Company in" context, what did this company do?
  •  Done


  • "brothers (wagon builders) took" what do you mean?
  •  Done


  • "he was Studebaker's" he was or became?
  •  Done


  • "and was about to be bankrupt" -> "and was close to bankruptcy."
  •  Done


  • "In 1914 Zeder enticed Breer to come over" this seems to have gone back in the narrative.
  •  Done


  • "transmitting its power to the wheels " do you mean transmissions?
  •  Done


  • ""The Three Musketeers" of Studebaker and Willys—Zeder, Skelton, and Breer—" you don't need to repeat this definition of the Three Musketeers.
  •  Done


  • "became the heart of"" not encyclopedic in tone.
  •  Done


  • "credited Frederick Zeder" no need for Frederick.
  •  Done


  • "an air flow design" why italics? And what does it mean?
  •  Done


  • "car. It was to demonstrate" merge. And I don't think "purr of the motor" is encyclopedic.
  •  Done


  • ISBNs all formatted differently - make consistent.
  •  Done


That's sufficient for a first review, on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 16:30, 5 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@The Rambling Man: I see you have been practicing your English. You are getting very good at it. (hehehehehe)
All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. -Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:36, 5 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
On my to-do list for tomorrow Doug, cheers! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 20:38, 5 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Infobox says he was a Democrat but that's not referenced or mentioned anywhere else.
  •  Done = removed.


  • Link Bay City, Michigan in the prose.
  •  Done


  • "then got a job at" ->"then employed by"
  •  Done


  • Link Millwaukee.
  •  Done


  • Link Detroit.
  •  Done


  • "The Studebaker brothers (wagon builders)" again, what? Do you "... brothers, who were wagon builders, ..."? And what sort of wagons?
  •  Done


  • "1924 Chrysler B-70 Touring Cars" any reason touring cars is capitalised? Is that their formal name?
  •  Done


  • Convert 68 horsepower.
  •  Done


  • Convert two feet.
  •  Done


  • Convert "eighth of an inch"
  •  Done


That's it. Sorry I missed some of these on the first pass. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 07:06, 6 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: All additional issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:08, 6 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, it's promoted, cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:33, 6 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Frederick_Morrell_Zeder/GA1&oldid=1021767443"