Talk:Falsas Esperanzas/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: CrowzRSA (talk · contribs) 22:28, 11 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Doing...

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Comments

setlist.fm is not a reliable source

As I cannot find a reliable source to back the information regarding the song's inclusion on the debut tour setlist, I have no choice but to remove it.

in prose, you can only place citations after periods or commas and in certain cases quotation marks.

Done

"Instrumentation of the track comes from horn and a few Tropical elements" that should be "a horn"

Done

How is a piano a Tropical element? Even if its "snazzy," the piano is usually classical or jazzy, far from tropical

Not sure if this helps, but it's done by Cuban pianist Paquito Hernandez who did tropical music during his career. At least, I mentioned the piano was performed by Hernandez.

I don't see where it's mentioned. Also, make sure you included the part about "Cuban pianist" as well.

You need to mention Kembrew McLeod's name in the sentence containing "splashes of horns." Perhaps something along the lines of "According to music critic Kembrew McLeod the song features 'bouncy rhythms' and 'splashes of horns'."

Done

What makes sonicnet.com a reliable source?

It was included on Metacritic's average reviews for the album.

"The song was released as the album's third single on July 2, 2000 in Spain," what album? Be specific.

Done

Was it released on July 2, 2000 or July 2, 2001? Inconsistency of dates.

Done

"It peaked at number 7 on the Dutch Tipparade chart and number 15 in Spain." both 7 and 15 should be spelled out to comply with MOS:NUMBERS

Done

"David Browne, writing for Entertainment Weekly provided an ironic review, commenting that "Falsas Esperanzas" still leave Aguilera "room to growl like a "blues singer"." Three things. (1) Saying it is ironic goes against WP:POV (2) The line "commenting that" is poor English (3) "still leave" should just be "leaves" instead.

Rewrote

You have a redundant use of "praised"
"...extended her tour, Christina Aguilera: In Concert, into 2001 for 8 more dates" spell out eight. Also, "dates" isn't the best word here. Perhaps "performances" or just reword the entire sentence.
Link Mexico, Puerto Rico, Venezuela, Panama and Japan
" In December 2000, she held a one-hour special show on ABC and performed "Falsas Esperanzas", it was later recorded in a video release entitled My Reflection." Three things: (1) "show" should be "shown" or "special", depending on how you want the sentence to sound (2) Split the sentence up. The comma between "Falsas Esperanzas" and "it" should be a period (3) Link video

How about this rewrite "performed "Falsas Esperanzas" which was later"?

"In December 2000, she held a one-hour special on ABC and performed "Falsas Esperanzas", which was later recorded in a video release entitled My Reflection."

link DVD

Done

The tracklist does not include the CD, Maxi-Single Promo version of the album. Also, you could upload an image of the alternate cover, which can be found here

I would need a good rationale for the alternate cover explaining why its needed, since usage of non-free files are supposed to be limited in an article. EDIT: I got a 403 Forbidden error.

MetroLyrics should not be in the External links section, as it does not comply with Wiki's reliable source section.

Its usage depends on whether or not the lyrics on the page were licensed.
Lead (Intro)

You start sentences by saying "The song...". its redundant change it up a bit.

Done

"The song was described..." described by who?

I rewrote to just say what the song is.

"song that features instrumentation from horn." Again, add "a" before "horn"

Done

"Falsas Esperanzas" received mixed reviews from music critics, some noted it as a stand-out track from the" this is a comma splice, you need to either replace the comma with a period or add "with" infront of "some"

I used "with"

"not impressed toward it." poor English, just say "by" instead of "toward"
Spell out 15 and 7

Done

"...at the 2001 Grammy Awards with "Pero Me Acuerdo de Ti" and during three of her major concert tours: Christina Aguilera in Concert, Justified and Stripped Tour and The Stripped Tour." remove "with 'Pero Me Acuerdo de Ti'" so it will read: "...at the 2001 Grammy Awards and during three of her major concert tours: Christina Aguilera in Concert, Justified and Stripped Tour and The Stripped Tour."

Done

Most reviewers would fail this article immediately after reviewing it. I'm nice. I'll give you five days to fix these issues then we'll see if it looks GA quality. CrowzRSA 23:28, 11 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Doing... This might take a day or so. Erick (talk) 21:51, 13 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! I think I got most of them done. I just need to find a source for the song's inclusion on the setlist for the tours and the track listings for the other remixes. Erick (talk) 22:22, 13 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

More comments

There's no info on what the songs lyrics are about?

Added

"from music critics with some noted it as a stand-out track" noted is in wrong tense for sentence. Instead of note, I would just say "with some naming it a stand-out track"

Done

"It was released on July 2, 2001 by RCA Records as the third single from the album. The track was written by Jorge Luis Piloto and produced by Rudy Pérez. It is an uptempo Latin record that features instrumentation from a horn." - Rearrange these sentences to read: "It was written by Jorge Luis Piloto and released as a single through RCA Records on July 2, 2001. The uptempo Latin record was produced by Rudy Pérez and features instrumentation from a horn." The fact that it is the third single should be in the "Release" section.

Addressed.

For the first sentence of "Background," you need to include the year which her studio album was released.

Done

I fixed the "Background" section up a little, but for some reason it says "including a "snazzy" piano per .[3][4]" which isn't right.

Fixed and thanks!

Fixed up the "Release and reception" so it looks better now. CrowzRSA 23:49, 13 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Again thanks! Erick (talk) 00:43, 14 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Final comments

The information you added about the lyrics is original research, which should be avoided in articles per MOS and criteria 2C. Is there no source out there which could help with this? I found this, this, and this in Spanish, maybe that could be helpful. CrowzRSA 02:35, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

First two sources don't say anything about the lyrics of the song, the third one just says "The Falsas Esperanzas singer...". I tried Google Books as well but to no avail. However, the Sun-Sentinel mentions: "a defiant chorus that plays clever see-saw: "No me des ... No me digas ... " ("Don't give me ... Don't tell me ... "). " Don't know if that helps. Erick (talk) 05:08, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

That would actually work fine if you can derive enough info to talk about the lyrics. These lines obviously point towards the song being about infidelity or just relationship issues. I'm sure you can work with that. CrowzRSA 05:30, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm stumped here. I don't what to put in. Erick (talk) 22:43, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

No worries I took care of it.

Add something about who plays the horn (Ed Calle)

Added. Erick (talk) 00:30, 16 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

After you add that, I'll have one more read through of the article and most likely pass it. CrowzRSA 23:44, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]