Talk:Azati Prime

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Fair use rationale for Image:Azati Prime (ENT episode).jpg[edit]

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Image copyright problem with Image:USS Enterprise NCC-1701-J.jpg[edit]

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GA Review[edit]

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Azati Prime/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 23:58, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I shall review this, hopefully within the next few days. Thanks, Ruby 2010/2013 23:58, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments[edit]

  • "The guest actors who portrayed members of the Xindi Council appeared in this episode..." - this reads weird, maybe because it isn't clear when they portrayed the members? Suggest a rewrite
  • " In this episode, the crew track the Xindi superweapon down to a planet..." -> In this episode, the crew track a Xindi superweapon down to a planet...
  • "...and Captain Jonathan Archer (Scott Bakula) seeks to destroy in a suicide attack." What is Archer trying to destroy? The weapon? Needs rewording.
  • % vs percent - consistency needed
  • " "Azati Prime" received Nielsen ratings of 2.6/4%, and critical reaction was mostly positive with praise directed at the pacing of the episode and the plotting of the overall arc." -- verging on a run-on sentence, could use a comma somewhere in there
  • Xindi is overlinked
  • Fixed - also noted I had Captain Jonathan Archer (Scott Bakula) in there twice too. Miyagawa (talk) 23:30, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Meanwhile, Archer orders Enterprise destroys a Xindi facility on the planet's moon so that it cannot reveal the ship's presence." -- could use a copyedit
  • Explain who or what Jannar is (like you do for Degra)
  • It was Archer's first time meeting Jannar in this episode (the audience saw him in Xindi Council meetings), so I've simply explained that he is also a Xindi. Miyagawa (talk) 23:30, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As Archer begins to convince them that Starfleet did not start the conflict, but Dolim..." -- would remove the "but" here
  • "Filming took eight days, concluding on January 14, although this was due to an overlap with the following episode, "Damage"." -- I don't quite understand why this was due to an overlap; could you clarify it?
  • Redrafted to explain - the episodes typically took seven days to film. Miyagawa (talk) 23:30, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The episode was directed by Allan Kroeker, who "The Xindi" earlier in the season..." -- word missing
  • Redrafted to remove potential repetition. Miyagawa (talk) 23:30, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...who occurred in their recurring roles on the Xindi council." -- "occurred" seems wrong here; maybe "appeared"?
  • "However, she found the pacing made..." -- not sure why you have "However" here, unless the Star Wars comparison is meant to be a negative criticism?

Otherwise, not too many issues. Will place on hold for the usual seven days. You've done a great job improving this -- the previous state of the article was awful. Keep up the good work! Ruby 2010/2013 04:08, 5 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thanks for the review - sorry it took a couple of days to make those edits! Miyagawa (talk) 23:30, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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