Talk:Mo Tae-bum/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 12:26, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry it's taking me so long to get back to this. I'll have a review up tomorrow. Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 06:58, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    • Since then, Mo has been a close friend to Lee Seung-Hoon who won respectively a gold medal and a silver medal in a speed skating 10000 meter and 5000 meter competitions at the 2010 Winter Olympics. A bit gawky. It's missing at least one comma, and might be better off as multiple sentences anyway.
    • As Mo grew older, he almost gave up skating, but decided not to because of advice from his mother. Any reason why?
    •  I expanded the sentence, but there aren't any sources in English, and I can't find any using my poor korean, that elaborate on that NativeForeigner Talk/Contribs/Vote! 00:06, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • His first event was at the 2005 South Korean Single Distance Championships which occurred on November 23 and 24, 2004. I think there's a comma missing here, as well.
    • He came in tenth in the 1000m race with a time of 1:16.81, and third in the 1500 meter event Be consistent. I would favor the 1000m construction, for version-neutral English, but either way, just use the same construction. Mix of both throughout the article.
    • There, he participated in the 500m, 1500m, 3000m, and 5000m events; however, he was out of the top ten in all events but the 500m, where he took fifth place with a time of 38.21. Again, I think this would be better as two sentences rather than a compound sentence joined by a semicolon.
    • Before the 2010 Winter Olympics, Mo Tae-Bum had never won in a non-junior race, but was currently ranked second for the 2009–10 Speed Skating World Cup. Currently?
    • He also won a Silver Medal in the 1000m event. I don't think silver medal is a proper noun.
    • Before the Olympics started the Korean Olympic Team held a press conference. However he was asked few questions. Now this, I'd actually say would be stronger as a compound sentence.
    • The prose just generally does not seem to be of a particularly strong quality. Just a little clunky; tough to articulate this concern, and it might not be applicable for this process.
    B. MOS compliance:
    • The lead is much too short. This isn't a super long article, but I'd still like to see a lead of at least 2 paragraphs. Discuss his junior career a little.
    •  Expanded, does it need to be longer still?.
    • I think the entire "Silver medal" subsection (4.2) under "2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics" should just go into the 4 header. Discuss his competitive results, then reaction to the gold medal (although that section also has pre-Olympics stuff)
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    *Reference #1 is a dead link
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
    • If anything, you might even give further details of the Olympics.
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    • Infobox image is free and on commons.
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions and alternative text:
    • Excellent caption. No alt text though. It's not technically required for GA (though I believe it should be), so I won't fail the article if it's not added, but I encourage it. Even if it would require an edit to an infobox.
    • It doesn't look like the template supports it. I see in the source code for this article that you attempted alt text, but since it doesn't actually work, I'm going to take it out. Don't worry too much about this – {{Infobox sportsperson}} is edit-protected, and I'm not precisely sure what edit would be needed for it to support alt text, but that's way beyond the scope of this proceeding. Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 23:17, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: I'll put it on hold for right now, but I'm probably going to seek a second opinion for the prose review. Is it reasonably good? Probably, but I'd like to be sure. Certainly, if your goal is an eventual FAC, a great deal more work is needed. Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 07:56, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    I'm going to wait for the second opinion before any decision on passage. Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 05:09, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    You rang? Since your issue is just with the prose, I was going to come here and suggest getting a copyeditor but then I thought "I am a copyeditor and I have nothing better to do" so I'll spend a little time with it and it should at least be good enough for GA when I'm done. Please don;t hesitate to revert any inadvertent changes in meaning! HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 10:31, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    OK, I've given it a copyedit. I think it's a lot nicer to read now and sufficient for GA. If this were "my" review, I'd like to see the lead padded out a little bit to properly summarise the body. Also, is "Mo" the family name? I don't know much about Korean names, but there should probably be a hatnote on the article if it's different to English names. I'm certain Nosleep can handle that, though :)! If there's anything else I can do, by all means drop me a line! HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 11:37, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    Family name = last name :) I'll add more to the lead. NativeForeigner Talk/Contribs/Vote! 22:47, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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