Talk:MNM (professional wrestling)/GA1
(Redirected from Talk:MNM/GA1)
GA Review[edit]
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Disclaimer: I am indeed a big wrestling fan and a frequent editor of professional wrestling articles but the only edits I've ever made to this article is upgrading three "questionable" sources to three reliable ones, nothing else. I am not a member of the Pro Wrestling project either and will review this without bias towards the subject. If you think this is a problem say so and I will withdraw stop reviewing this article. MPJ-DK (talk) 10:27, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
The article has been placed on HOLD as I've found several issues that need to be addressed if this is ever going to be a Good Article. First time round I will provide a list of issues as I come across them in my review, I will use the "Good Article Review" template once we're closer to the goal.
- Lead section - WP:LEAD
-
Either no sources at all or fully sourced please, this is about halfway between either.
The statement on how the stable was named is unsourced and is only found in the lead.
The statement about what their gimmick was is again only mentioned in the lead, the lead reflects the article, usually does not contain information not also found in the article beyond minor details.
-
- You know what? I like the concept section, it's a way to state exactly what their gimmick without it getting too much in the way. That format would probably not work on a wrestlers biography as they may have several gimmicks, but for a team with one gimmick it works. Good idea. MPJ-DK (talk) 19:42, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
"Melina, who at the time was Nitro's actual girlfriend, soon joined them in February 2005 as their manager." Something does not sound right here, "soon joined them in February 2005" is ugly, please rephrase thanks.
"While situated in OVW", situation is more of a location, a better term would be "working"
- Done.
"Gimmick" is wrestling slag and should be avoided per WP:JARGON - Consider terms more along the lines of "Ring persona", "Ring character", "on screen character" or something to that effect that is accessible to anyone who is not a wrestling fan.
- Done.
"went on to win" maybe point out they won in their debut match, sounds like more of an accomplishment, and it's true to boot.
- I think I got it.
- "Drop the titles"
it's Title, it's two physical belts but one championship and thus one title. Please check this for consistency throughout.
- Done.
the word "Drop" is linked to the Slang term, since drop is also a regular term it could become confusing when trying to use the slang version of the word.
- Done.
I've never seen ANY indications that Jillian Hall or Mark Henry were members of MNM, just occasional associates, definitly not enough to warrant inclusion in the lead section.
- Removed.
- Info Box
-
Again Hall & Henry listed as official members? That's not common knowledge, a source that confirms them as actual MNM members would be nice.
- I removed them.
Since the stable is disbanded they're ALL former members, the distinction between "members" and "former members" is moot, should be one list.
Mercury should be listed as "Joey Matthews/Joey Mercury" as he worked under Matthews in OVW.
- Done.
- Ohio Valley Wrestling
-
Out of Universe problems: in a nutshell, presented as it was real
"Actual" is linked? that's how you handle the fact that wrestling is generally scripted? Link a common term, hiding the fact that there is an explanatory link underneath?
Feud - again a term that's got a "real life" connotation of being 100% serious.
"Turned on"? WHy use wrestling slang when it can easily be explained in simple "non-slang" terms. I am especially focused on this section as it's the first "main" section the reader meets, it needs to be obvious that the article is not trying to pretend that storylines are indeed real.
- I changed it to "betrayed". Happy?
You cannot "re-side" with someone if you were never presented as siding with them in the first place. Consider a different term.
- Removed.
- SmackDown!
*MNM refers to a stable, one entity thus all references to MNM should be singular. e.x. "MNM were called up" should be "MNM was called up" etc. I'll not point it out again, make sure the article is consistent.- Done.
Sources should be placed at the end of the sentence, after the punctuation without a space after it.
- "
While Nitro and Mercury held the championship Melina was placed in an angle with Heidenreich, publicly mocking him and being the impetus for an attack on him by Nitro and Mercury." That's just not right, needs to be rewritten.
- I think I got it.
State clearly that Animal & Heidenreich actually won the title as well, in wrestling you can win the match but not neccessarily the title.
- Done.
No need to wikilink a common term like "publicity".
- Unlinked.
"Worked sas something of a fourth memeber" - pure speculation
- Removed.
Two uses of "In addtion" right after each other, variety please.
the sentence that starts "In addition to her getting them a cover article in" is three totally seperate sentences joined together for no reason. The mention of the Melina/Tori feud and the MNM/Booker&Sharmell bit makes it seem almost trivial.
- Removed.
All dates should have years.
The Sentence starting with "On the October 28 episode" is too long and needs copyediting.
- Done.
Maybe the sentence that begins with "On the same night," should come BEFORE the match since it happened before the match.
- Done.
Dealing with the Melina/Batista sex issues more needs to be done to point out that this is a storyline otherwise it violates Biography of Living people.
- Done.
Was Mark Henry added to the group or hired to protect Melina? the sources don't mention him joining MNM, hell they don't mention Mark Henry's motivation for attacking Batista at all.
- I think I got it.
"Dropped" linked again.
- Unlinked.
Pay-Per-View should be linked, after all in wrestling terms it's not just the format you watch the show in.
- Done.
Throwing in ",in storyline," in a sentence doesn't help the sentence work. I would consider restructuring the explanation of Melina & Nitro being "fired" from Smackdown.
- Done.
- Reunion
-
the last two sort paragraphs should be merged.
- Merged.
"Put over" is wrestling slang - as is the loaded term "superstars", while the WWE may call them that they are wrestlers and should be called such.
- I think I got it.
Nitro teaming with Dykstra is irrelevant to this article and should just be removed.
- Removed. -
- In Wrestling
The "Ring Entrance" section is too "Prose" for a list section. Could be put elsewhere, maybe when you explain their gimmick so that it's not just found in the lead (2 birds, 1 stone)
- Championships and accomplishments
-
Nitro was not the IC champion while MNM was active, he won & lost the second IC title before Mercury returned - remove it
- Removed.
Melina did not win the Women's title twice while MNM was active, the last reign is after Mercury was released. Since there is no date listed on when MNM stopped teaming it may be after as well, it's right on the edge.
- She did held the title twice while MNM was together.
- The article states that MNM was active until March 2007. Melina's second reign began in April 2007, the month after the stable was disbanded. GaryColemanFan (talk) 20:33, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
- References
-
In Feature List reviews "www.wrestling-titles.com" has not been found to be reliable, in fact it has blocked lists from FA status before they were replaced.
- I replaced the WWE Tag and OVW Southern Tag references. I wasn't sure what to do about the Women's title, as the article lists Melina as a two-time champion. According to http://www.wwe.com/inside/titlehistory/women/ , she is a three-time champion, but two of the wins came after this stable was disbanded. The number might need to be changed, but the wwe.com link can replace the wrestling-titles reference. GaryColemanFan (talk) 14:45, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
That's the review for now, I'll keep an eye on the progress. MPJ-DK (talk) 10:27, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
- I've gotten half of your concerns. The rest, I'll let Nici do. -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 15:53, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
Alright very well done. Now I've run through the changes, good work - inventive use of the "Concept" setion. I will give myself a half day break or so and then come back with "fresh eyes" for what is hopefully the final review read through. Good and very speedy work. MPJ-DK (talk) 19:42, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
Second round review[edit]
I've read through it once more and found some stuff, all minor stuff really, if it had been 2-3 things I would have edited them myself but there is a few more than that, if these are fixed I'll pass it to GA.
- the first paragraph should say "MNM (Mercury, Nitro, and Melina) was a professional wrestling stable in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) and Ohio Valley Wrestling (OVW)" (and link here)
- Done.
- Subsequently remove (OVW) from the next mention as a consequence of the previous change.
- Done.
- "While in WWE, their ring personas were that", plural personas
- Done.
- "After their third and final reign ended in May 2006, Nitro and Melina blamed Mercury for the loss and"
- Check.
- "MNM was called up to the WWE SmackDown! roster" it's not mentioned that Smackdown=WWE and the word "main" is confusing if you're not familiar with the brand concept.
- Done.
- Together, Heidenreich and Road Warrior, challenged Mercury and Nitro for the tag titles" => "Road Warrior Animal" or just "Animal" please.
- Done.
- L.O.D. 2005 =>Legion of Doom 2005, spell out the abbriviation.
- Check.
- not "envoked" but "invoked"
- Done.
- In non-title tag team matches, singles matches, and even a six-man tag match, London and Kendrick defeated the duo." add "every time" to the end to make it crystal clear.
- Done.
- "Also in reality, Mercury was about to begin serving a suspension" remove "in reality".
- Done.
- I'd reccomend the first paragraph in the "Reunion" section be reworded to "After serving his suspension and a brief stint back in OVW,"
- Done.
- One last bit that may or may not be anything - does source [34], the Chicago Sun-Times article actually state that Mercury and Nitro did not get along offscreen?
- Yes.
Final assessment[edit]
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- Since it's about MNM the stable it does not need to cover individual members personal lives etc. it's broad in coverage of the subject "MNM"
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- I did not see any editwars, it's not a super active page with MNM being disbanded
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Congratulations, it's been passed. In the spirit of the Good Article process I'd encourage the contributors to maybe review a GA candidate themselves, there are quite a few articles that are waiting. MPJ-DK (talk) 01:42, 27 June 2009 (UTC)